It's the summertime, and Lolabrigada is a bit less active than usual. That gives me the opportunity to get caught up on this here blog. I have a lot to say. I'm Ben, by the way.

Now, anyone who knows me personally is aware that my comedic hero has always been and always will be Weird Al. Get off your high horse and admit he is awesome.

Nonetheless, the man is not perfect, and I believe I can enhance my mental and spiritual evolution by questioning and challenging him on occasion. Here goes: 

In my opinion, one of the most poorly thought-out and regrettable songs he ever recorded was "My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder".

Now, one would thing that a song with that title would have come out at the height of Pearl Jam's popularity. But this little ditty wasn't on 1991's "Off the Deep End", 1994's "Alapalooza", or even 1996's "Bad Hair Day."

No, it came out on 1999's "Running With Scissors". By 1999, Pearl Jam were an enduring rock band with a solid base of fans, but hardly at the cusp of the mainstream. They were a eight years removed from "Ten", their debut record that made them a household name.

Yet, the lyrics to the song never acknowledge how much time had passed since the heyday of grunge music and the "alternative" scene. Over a Zydeco-influenced accordion riff (what?), Al sings about how his unnamed "baby" loves that Vedder is "so darn dysfunctional and Generation X-y" and that she "can't get enough of his sullen demeanor. Like he's some big tortured genius and I'm some kind of weiner."

That is Weird Al's worst couplet ever.

Later, Al expresses jealously over the fact that his baby is knitting Eddie a sweater, an activity that is clearly only taking place because that particular article of clothing rhymes with "Vedder".

Oooh...and then there's the song's punchline, in which Al turns the tables in an oh-so-unsatisfying manner:

"Well, let's just see how jealous she gets, when I start stalking Alanis Morrisette."

Boo!!! Boo!!! Boo!!!

Now, it is to Weird Al's extreme credit that he has been able to transcend the ephemeral nature of "novelty songwriter". He is an enduring American icon. Nonetheless, a song like "My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder" is unforgivable largely because it came out well past it's logical pop-cultural moment. Al willfully undercut the power of the songs message, and in someone of his line of work that is a cardinal sin. I'm disappointed in you, Al.

But I still love you. Boy, do I ever.