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It was so clear what I was going to write about this morning – about 3 hours ago - since then I have gone back to sleep, it is now 11.00 am, and I am feeling very, VERY tired and guilty.  I honestly don't know why – I suppose it is the Victorian Parent that lives within shouting at me and goading me on to succeed despite myself. 

I often hear voices when I write, my mother's voice when I am writing to the children, my sisters' sometimes when I need to reach out, my maternal/paternal grandfathers – whom I adored and were a great influence on my life.  One was a horse-trader, the other a terrorist – both inform my day-to-day work when I am collating tenders for different projects (this fact was greeted with horror this week, when the person I was dealing with wasn't sure which side of my nature was informing the conversation!).

Then I hear other voices that I don't recognise, they just emerge as words I am putting pen to paper.  This is both exhilarating and a little scary – the words don't come from conscious thought but somewhere both deep inside and far away, simultaneously.  This is my writing voice, and it took a little practice to accept that it was good and could be trusted. 

For years I tried to override the outpourings with "clever" conscious editing in the cold light of day.  I would spent hours re-drafting and re-writing, until eventually I discovered (one drunken night) after I had given up and just rewritten the piece from scratch, that it resembled the first piece of writing so much – I might as well not have bothered.  The piece was accepted (with a ticking off for nearly missing the deadline) and I received two/three other commissions on the back of it.  I was commended for my free thinking and clear writing.    

So lesson learned – Trust your First Thought.  That doesn't mean to say I don't edit my pieces now, but I am careful not to "over edit" and impose fancy phrasing where known is actually needed. 

I trust my voices and they have grown in confidence and now trust me, and with practice they emerge when summoned.

From the Postbag

Not a lot going on this week so I will use editors rights and ramble on a bit. 

The Daily Telegraph Bath Festival of Children's Literature was one of the highlights of my world.  The festival (despite constant reminders) had totally slipped off my radar because of work commitments etc., so a friend forced me screaming and kicking along (because I was tired, overloaded and overwrought not because I didn't want to go).  I am so glad she did (she also fed me!) – thank you Lisa from the bottom of my heart.  Not only was it an inspirational evening and good to touch base with such a dear friend, the talk I attended - given Lucy Hawking, Joanne Harris and Tim Lott - set me thinking and gave me the shake up I needed. 

Often in the postbag I am on the receiving end of a lot of moaning about the NEED to acquire fame and fortune, and the frustrations of not being recognised as the next big name in writing – the little matter of having to write something seems to get overlooked.

I am often at a total loss to answer because this isn't my motivation for writing, but I haven't been sure what actually is and don't want to sound pompous in case there is a true literary genius amongst the membership and they quote me for ever and a day as the one who put them down. 

But now I know WHY I WRITE.  I write a story to tell a tale, communicate with others and entertain – I was "entertained" on Saturday night, these authors read their tales to ME and I was entranced.  The fact that the tales were aimed at kids was quite enlightening as well.  I am obviously a kid at heart who just needs a simple tale to make her world and wants to make Toby's world, so needs to write simply for him.

Whilst writing, the added-value by product is that I also learn about myself and the voyage of discovery still thrills.  The irony is, because I am enjoying myself and doing what I WANT and am consistent with voice, that confidence of purpose seeps through the hard-edged words and often attracts commissions without even trying.

So my advice to you is – just write, get it on the page, enjoy the process and entertain yourself.  When you can entertain yourself - then and only then - share it, (without thought of financial recompense), just bathe in the applause, stick it on your CV and write something else.  Gradually you will have produced a body of work that will be sought after for itself – in my experience success happens when we least expect it. 

Inspirations

I have been inspired by everything this week – but this doesn't help you.  So I seriously would suggest sitting down for 10 minutes or so, with a big heading at the top of the page WHY I WRITE.

Moving on from that – on another big piece of paper – WHO MY MUSE IS….

You might surprise yourself – at the very least you will have learned more about yourself.

Heads Up

The Folk House Anthology – the long awaited compilation edited by Rosemary Dun and Kate Gardiner hit the bookshops this week.  They have been running writing courses in the Folk House, a local community educational establishment, for quite a few years now and this anthology contains examples of some of the best work which has emerged.  WOW is all I can say.  The Foreword and Introductions are workshops in themselves, the stories and poems really well crafted and good examples of what can be achieved when groups of people write and work together.

You can purchase it on-line at Amazon – type Rosemary Dun into the search engine or click on the link if you are reading this on my webpage.