"I stood in the pouring rain cleaning the mud off my 423 miles old Alfa Romeo MiTo this afternoon, having just got back from a freezing weekend of freediving, asking myself what the hell I was doing.
Anyone who dives (and probably those who don't) know that spending three hours in a flooded quarry in cold water can drop the body's core temperature by several degrees below normal, making it feel like your lips have divorced your face. Warming up again seems an impossibility but when I finally reached home and unpacked the car it seemed entirely bonkers to me that instead of turning on the hot tap on the bath, I found myself reaching for the bucket and cloth.
As I cleaned Lola (...she was a showgirl, la, la, la...) I tied to figure out what it was about 'her' that compelled me to be so attentive to her every need.
Rubbing over her backside I smiled smuggly remembering Jeremy Clarkson's review "...the boot is small". I smiled to think of my 'too-big-for-Easy-Jet's-cabin-baggage-allowance' bag packed with work clothes & computers, an extra long bi-fin bag for my super long freediving fins that rival the length of a golf club bag, and a HUGE triangular monofin bag, jam-packed with diving gear, all fitting perfectly well inside the boot, with room spare for a midget (if one had such a small and willing friend).
But even with the generous boot space, the oh-so-fabulous DNA system that you only find on Formula 1 cars, the voice recognition and the red sparkles in the black paint (yes, I AM a girl) I still didn't know why I stood there in the rain washing the quarry off her... why couldn't it wait?
Then I joined the online Alfa club, Cloverleaf, and read Simon Hacker's article 'Road Revoloution" and he asked a very important question... "could this be the first Alfa Romeo to speak to women directly, in their language?". Could he be onto something?
On Thursday I let one of my colleagues drive her. Dan asked me "How attached to Lola are you?". When I asked why, he asked if he could timeshare in Lola at the weekends. Another of my male friends was heard to utter the simple word 'wow' as he flicked the DNA button into 'Dynamic'. Let me give you some perspective on that - he gave the very same response when he found out George Lucas had directed Star Wars Episode 1 and it was on it's way to the silver screen... the same response as when he pulled back the wrapping on Christmas Day and got a Wii from his wife. 'Wow' is major compliment.
I'm not entirely sure if it only speaks to women in their own language, it seems to connect with the men in my life on the very same level. Hell.. I wouldn't be surprised to find it wooing my cats, finding them curled up contentedly on the bonnet one morning.
I don't know if this car speaks English, Yiddish, Klingon or Putijarra (the rarest language in the world).... but I do know it speaks the language of Love. And she has my undivided attention :)"
This was the review I posted on Cloverleaf a few days ago not expecting anything back from it all, just hoping it would give a few people a smile. This morning I checked my e-mail and up popped Lauren Bell from Alfa Romeo head office asking me to give her a call – they had some news for me. So I called.
Lauren told me how my post had been sent all around Alfa head office, how much everyone loved it, how the guys had found it suggestively sexy, how they wanted to reward me and meet the girl behind the writing... they wanted to offer me a driving experience for free. The description....
“Your Driving Adventure will begin in the UK, where all participants will drive in convoy to the Eurotunnel terminal. After a short drive through northern France we’ll break for lunch in the medieval town of Bethune, before another drive to check into the hotel in beautiful Châlons-en-Champagne. In the evening we’ll whisk you off to Le Château D’etoges restaurant for a sumptuous dinner.
The following day we drive to Epernay where you’ll be taken on a private tour of the Moët et Chandon champagne house, before driving on to Reims for another champagne tour – this time in the house of Taittinger. On day three we make our way to the beautiful town of Laon where you’ll have several hours to enjoy a leisurely lunch and take in the stunning cathedral.
We'll be bringing along some other Alfa models with us too for you test drive.
Finally the entire Driving Adventures party will make their way to Calais to catch the Eurotunnel back to England"
So Lola is going to France!! Yipee!! And wouldn't it be nice to write a review of the trip and get in published in the monthly Alfa magazine?!! I've always loved to write but it never won me anything before.... Champagne and adventure.... here I come!!
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