It was a rainy and humid night. I couldn't sleep. I paced up and down in my living room trying to work off my restlessness. I have to go to sleep, i kept telling myself but to no avail. I turned off the television, hoping that once again it will work as a sedative. But at 3 am all there was on offer was telemarketing bits and a bit of soft porn. I turned it off and decided to go to bed. I switched off the light and waited...I wonder does counting sheep ever work?


As I am considering my options i hear a deafening noise coming from the floor above me. It sounded as if someone had dropped a bunch of marbles on the floor. They rolled, and rolled, and rolled... I couldn't believe what was happening to me. Is someone trying to piss me off? I wondered and tried to figure out who lived above me. Silnce ensued and I thought that perhaps it was just an accident. As time goes by, i finally start to relax.


A few minutes later, i hear a man singing...no... it was more like screeching accompanied by banjo playing. I jump up off my bed and try to listen closely. The whole thing was so surreal that I couldn't believe my ears. The singing and the banjo playing continues and I am furious.I get up and head to my kitchen, i pick up a broom and start banging it on the ceiling. Nothing. The noise continues. And then it stops. Silence. Five, ten minutes later and I'm thinking maybe that was it, when my deranged neighbor decides to use something that sounds like a drill. 'Is he drilling a hole at 4:15am?' I wondered out loud. That's it, i'm thinking and I feel ready to face the enemy.


I put on a nightgown and I head upstairs. I knock on his door. It's open. I enter and I see him hanging up a painting on the wall. 'Are you insane?' I start yelling at him. He ignores me. I approach him...



At the court of law, when they asked me why I did it, i simply said: 'it wasn't my fault he just happened to run into my kitchen knife...