You know how you go through things in life that you think will never be over? I mean, even when the situation has ended, but the time of recovery/growth/getting used to your new perspective seems to stretch into the infinite spaces between your cells...
Dull, aching anger; wrenching loneliness; subtle apathy; forged hatred; all have been my companions at one point or another within the past 6 years... and now I find myself in a place as foreign and exciting as it is curious and ephemeral. I feel new and awakened, yet experienced and wary. And I think I can finally say that a brutal pain that once rent me is now still and reflective - my body relying on its own spirit and ferocity rather than the will of some cherished captor.
But all that is just ramble, the point of this blog is closure. This song flows out of me as if through my own pen - every syllable igniting my veins and reminding me that the past is past. Finally.
What you did to me made me see myself
something different
Though I try to talk sense to myself
But I just won't listen
Won't you go away
Turn yourself in
You're no good at confession
Before the image that you burned me in
Tries to teach you a lesson
What you did to me made me see myself
somethin' awful
A voice once stentorian is now again
meek and muffled
It took me such a long time to get back up
the first time you did it
I spent all I had to get it back, and now it seems
I've been outbidded
My peace and quiet was stolen from me
When I was looking with calm affection
You were searching out my imperfections
What wasted unconditional love
On somebody
Who doesn't believe in the stuff
You came upon me like a hypnic jerk
When I was just about settled
And when it counts you recoil
With a cryptic word and leave a love belittled
Oh what a cold and common old way to go
I was feeding on the need for you to know me
Devastated at the rate you fell below me
What wasted unconditional love
On somebody
Who doesn't believe in the stuff
Oh well