First off I don't want to alarm those close to me. I am well, just change in thought. Perhaps my naivety or arrogance has gotten the better of me; I think certain things just have become clearer.  I continue to strongly believe that we as a race are capable of so much more.  Our decision making ability is unlike anything else on this planet. We can choose at any given point to choose two opposite paths: One presumably "good" and the other "evil". I constantly get challenged with the obvious question of what is good and what is evil? But it is not that complicated. Deep down we know what is good and evil.  Both are very much present all around us in our everyday lives.  And that is just my problem.  Since as far back as our history shows, this conflict has existed. And my question is why!? It then hit me: it's vicious cycle which if continue as it is, will truly never end. When they say the war of good and evil will never end I understand why now. To put it simply, good won't eradicate bad because it is good. The moment it was to truly take drastic measure to eradicated evil, it would become evil.  Evil won't completely eradicate good because it needs someone to explore so it can survive. For evil to survive it needs something to prey on.  I realized I'm fighting a never ending pointless war.  No matter how hard good fights evil, it doesn't have what it take to truly end it.  In a way, they have given each other a false sense of purpose. We could all be so much more productive, if we all joined forces, one central goal. Things could be so much better, but alas that is not the case. So I thought, perhaps the solution is just to let evil take over.  I'm not saying I will partake in this; I'm simply removing myself from the cycle, not all at once I know drastic measures are never wise.  I figure at least one of two things can happen, either evil will destroy everything and worst case wipe out the human race, which if we continue down this destructive path it's probably better for earth and down the line the universe. Or less likely but nonetheless an option: evil finally realizes it could be so much more productive being good. And we all finally realize that if we put our silly differences aside, and use our great minds to work together, not destroy things, not worry about what brand of shoes I'm going to buy or get high or drunk because it makes me feel good we could achieve so much more.  I have tried to understand why people do and worry about these futile things:  appearance, money, religion, alcohol, lie, smoke, drugs. I have partaken in a few of these things in the last few years; but I have yet to truly understand why it is people do this. I used to think; perhaps they didn't know any better, if shown a different way perhaps they too would choose a different path.  But it is not the case. I have often asked why people do these things, and their answer is the same "it makes me feel good".  But that in itself is a lie. Because no alcoholic drink makes me feel better than seeing the happiness of a child when you play or teach them something.  No amount of cigarettes gave me a bigger high then when I learn something for that first time.  With that said, I guess I have given up in the current state of humanity.  For those of you that know me know how hard it is for me to say that, because this goes against all that I say. I have so avidly argued that there is hope in the current state. And here I have admitted it otherwise. The way I see it, let evil take over.  I for one will not take on any more good projects; I'll finish what I've started… but nothing new.