The two in the middle are mine, taken about 2 years ago.
The Changing Nest
Once individuals become parents, they are parents forevermore. Their
identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates
them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they welcome children
into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of
their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions
involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty
nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have
achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first
day of kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are
losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully,
this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which
mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children
in a new way.
As children earn greater levels of independence, their parents
often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and
subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that
they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties,
parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by
rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their
children have made in life. The simplest way to honor a child
undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and
mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of
disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their
offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger
children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a
special day in which they express their pride and explain that they
will always be there to offer love and support.
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well.
Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave
the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more
secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure
time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and
lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they
understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more
parents both celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the
less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their
changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward
to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future.