Ho ho ho ho ho! Hello little boy! It's Christmas Eve! Santa Monkey is very very busy tonight, but he always has time to talk to little sock monkeys! What's your name and what do you want from Santa Monkey for Christmas?
I'm Preemie, and I want you to make me big enough to fit into my new shoes!
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Little Preemie, Santa Monkey cannot make you grow big enough to fit into your new shoes! You are a sock monkey and you are never going to change. You are going to be Preemie forever and ever!
But I don't always want to be little, Santa Monkey! I want to grow up and be big like all the other sock monkeys. You're spoiling my Christmas Eve, Santa Monkey! I think I'm going to cry!
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Little Preemie, don't guilt trip Santa Monkey when he is telling it straight to you! You musn't be sad because you are who you are - instead you must either find the clothes that fit you or fit into the clothes that you have. That is how you will be a happy Preemie! Santa Monkey is going to tell you the story of how he got his suit, and maybe it will help you see that even though you will never be big enough to fit in your shoes maybe someday your shoes won't seem so big on you anymore!
Santa Monkey used to be Santa Rogers, and he used to want to be a country music singer in Nashville. Santa Rogers was born in Tennessee, and he grew up loving the sound of country music. George Jones, Loretta Lynn . . . Santa Rogers longed to be a sock monkey country music star like them! So Santa hitched to Nashville and worked the night spots. He didn't even particularly care about Christmas. In fact, one Christmas night Santa spent playing for local drunks at a very smoky bar with his band the Second Printing. It was really bad for Santa Monkey's skin, too, and you could never sell Santa Monkey on Ebay and claim he came from a smoke free home! Back then Santa Rogers didn't have Santa Monkey's snazzy suit. He wore an ugly blue jump suit thing. . . Santa has mercifully destroyed all of the press photos . . .
Eventually Santa Rogers and the Second Printing had a small sock monkey country hit with the song "I Just Dropped In to See What Condition My Stitching Was In". But in the midst of his success, and even before it, Santa Rogers discovered that he was not happy in his blue jumpsuit. Working the honky tonks and paying his dues was a grind for him - he thought he was pursuing his dream but it was so draining. Even when it all started to come true he was still not satisfied.
So Santa Monkey took the money he got from his small sock monkey country hit and decided to see the world and find out what he should really wear. For a while Santa thought he might open a roasted chicken restaurant, but that didn't seem right either. Who wants a roasted chicken? Besides, working in a restaurant would make Santa Rogers greasy, and what's worse than a greasy sock monkey?
Santa decided it was his mission to entertain. But he knew that country music wasn't right. And then one night, he remembered that he had been given away as a gift at Christmas time. He remembered when the little boy opened up the box his Grandma had given him. When he saw Santa Rogers and his funny white beard in front of him, he'd burst out laughing and started bashing Santa Rogers on the floor because he was so happy!
Santa Rogers decided that the best way to recapture that spirit of joy in his life was to become the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas . . . and on that day Santa Rogers became . . . SANTA MONKEY! Now Santa Monkey had a mission in life and direction. He bought himself a candy cane and used it to walk up and down Tennessee . . . searching far and wide for the perfect place to open a year round Christmas paradise . . .
Eventually he found a delapidated abandoned drive-thru restaurant just off of Interstate 40. He invested in fake show machines, learned how to grow evergreen trees indoors, and found Christmas monkeys from around the world who could use their Christmas-themed costumery year round to delight tourists with their neverending devotion to the season of solstice.
Now, all that was left was for Santa Monkey to get a suit that honored the many traditions of Christmas and the spirit of "NOW!" Inspired by the glamorous wardrobe of Nashville stars, Santa Monkey contacted Nudie Coco, of Nudie Coco's Rodeo Seamsters in California, to sew him a lavish Santa suit of the finest felt that would pop peoples eyes out with the spirit of Christmas. Jingle Bells hung from his hat and neck. Sequins glittered like rhinestones glittered like diamonds all over his hat, coat, and pants. Wherever Santa Monkey walked, his suit loudly proclaimed "CHRISTMAS"!
At last Santa Monkey had found his perfect suit of clothes and the perfect place to wear them.
Ho ho ho ho ho! Now, Preemie, do you understand what Santa Monkey is trying to tell you?
NO.
Ho ho ho ho ho! Then that is Santa's gift to you this year! A riddle for you to contemplate and grow into since you cannot grow into your shoes!
If I had said, "Yes. . . I guess so . . ." would you have told me that my gift this year was the wisdom of your lesson?
Ho ho ho ho ho! See? You are smarter already, little Preemie! Well, Santa Monkey has to run, he has a lot of little sock monkeys to pretend to give gifts to tonight! Don't forget, little Preemie - the gift you give yourself is the greatest gift of all!
Uhh . . . right . . .
Ho ho ho ho ho! You're welcome, Little Preemie! Now get on home and enjoy your riddle! Merry Christmas from Santa Monkey!
The Red Heel Monkey Shelter would like to thank all of our supporters, friends, collaborators, fellow sock monkeys, and well-wishers for a fantastic year. From all of the monkeys to all of the youse, we wish you happy holidays and sensational dreams for the new year.