PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS POST IS ONLY FOR THE GOOD PEOPLE THAT HAVE PURCHASED THE VENTURE BROS. SEASON TWO DVD.And I guess for anybody else that gives a shit.
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One of the special features of the Season Two set is a tour of Astrobase Go. In it you learn all you ever wanted to know about Astrobase Go. Well, that is if you didn't want to know much more than how long it takes us to get to our studio. Oh what am I saying? "Deep Inside Astrobase Go" is one of the most exiting features ever to be dubbed "special". It was a phenomenal undertaking. A crew of no less than two hundred and fifty, highly paid professionals were rocketed to a moon orbiting space station to make this documentary. Many of them died of shock or lack of oxygen. Still others suffered from a dementia that space travel hands out like party favors. And believe me, it was all worth it. I'd kill them all again to make this most important Special Feature. I would stare in their eyes as I squeezed the last hiss of life from their neck if had to. Yes, it's that important. The people must know what makes the Astrobase so astro-special!
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This amazingly telling still is one of my favorites. Beyond the noted objects, there is a TV tray that AS gave us as a christmas gift one year. A gift that beat the hell out of the goofy irony mirror and shake-up snow globe I got this year. There is a reproduction of the chalkboard from Glengarry Glen Ross. I also spy with my not-so little, but closely set eye, one of Kate's breasts, and Hazel's 24 doll.
- Here we have the Magneto Helmet and the Hulk Hands from "Hate Floats". Jackson and I wear them to get in the Venture mood... The helmet is so huge on me that if I turn my head when I'm wearing it, only my head turns while the helmet magically stays stationary.
- The Hugo Doll that Hank steals a goatee from. Featured in "Showdown at Cremation Creek Pt.1"
- A model of Astrobase Go next to a blue screen. And no, it was not used for the scenes in the beginning of the piece. That was all real footage that was shot from the inside of a rocket. Really... No, it was.
- The Trophy from "How to Animate Hank & Dean", a feature from Season One's not-so-special features. This is a callback. Ya know, continuity. Please don't think it's just crap lying around a filthy studio.
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This still represents our "Information Station". For the most part, it's a bunch of books about dead painters.
- This is the skirt that I give all my models who sit for a long format portrait. It is also the skirt that Jackson wears like a bib when he plays the Sovereign. The entire, horrific process is explained in the commentary for one of the episodes. I think it's one of the last two.
- Here we have Doc Hammer's hammer. I use it for all my hammering needs. I also included a sexy picture of me to encourage you to love the hammer. It's an angry, Blue Steel kinda sexy.
- My "Criswell Predicts" book. I don't care what you read on the internet about this lunatic's predictions being 80% accurate. The guy contradicts himself all over the place and makes insane, and psychologically telling predictions like: "I predict that Virginia will be the first state to recognize the domination of men by women under the matriarchal system of the 1980's. A 'white slavery' of men see its beginning in Virginia." Yep... It's a good read.
- And here's the other half of last season's callback, The mannequin head. Yes! Totally planned!
- A rolled up poster from the "Festival of Films". It's one of the huge ones. I'm not sure, but I think there are only three in existence. And Jackson and I have one of them each. I'm gonna frame it someday. I just don't have a place to hang it.
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A still of me at my "Animation Alteration Station". It looks almost clean, right? Apparently a camera not only adds 10 pounds to you, it also tidies up a bit. Because let me tell you, this place looks five times more crappy in life, than it does in the video. I know... It's almost unfathomable.
- Here is the human heart that jackson uses to help illustrate Soulbot's mechanical equal. It's usually in a bell-jar with a sign that says "The Origin of all Pain"... Made that little upbeat presentation myself.
- Everybody's favorite, beyond homosexual, super hero. I think I'm working on his extended list that was featured as a deleted scene. It's not really a deleted scene, it's a new scene created from unused vocal takes. In a perfect world, Jackson and I would be paid to sit there and make lists of crazy for Col. Gentleman to shit out.
- The Guild logo background. As a bonus gift to my readers, I offer you the option of making your home computer a little more Astrobase. 1024x768 or in the other popular size 800x600. My other set of backgrounds is not really appropriate for a tour group, what with it being topless women in front of the Astrobase logo. What!? Look, if you worked in this place you too would push the boundaries of taste and political correctness. I mean, it's one of the only perks of working in this ashtray.
- Plastic Chewbacca doll. Jealous much?
- The skull used in the show's title sequence and other promotional venues. You know, any venue that a skull is just the right touch. This being most venues of quality.
So there have it. The "Deep Inside, Deep Inside Astrobase Go!" I hope you enjoyed our time together as much as I did.
I love you,
Doc Hammer