As a follow up to "uhhhhhhh", let the record show that every feeling passes- no matter how intense it is in the moment.

Chicago is sunny and warm-ish today. Big hoodie sweatshirt for the wind, warm.
My day off in Colorado proved to be inspiring as I got to rehearse and perform with a fantastic little upright bass player. Then it was off to Omaha, Des Moines, Minneapolis, Duluth, Madison, Sheboygan and now the windy city. I'm a lucky girl, and I try to remember that as i sit down to the computer with the daunting task of booking shows.

This morning i jogged over to my buddies house and we read from "Caffeine Blues"; a book detailing the havoc wreaked on the human body by our obsession with coffee. We sipped our mugs of that rich nectar while exclaiming- "It's TRUE! I don't sleep that well! I crash in the afternoon! Can you actually feel your adrenals being taxed? Oh but I feel so happy when i drink this stuff!"

So, today is not the day for stopping, but the time may not be far off. Our psychobabble meandering took us from macrobiotics to the Enniagram to meditation; we poured over different books and poured more coffee. We talked about practicing our instruments and doing the footwork in our lives and letting go of the outcome. I was reminded that slow progress is lasting progress, and most importantly, that I'M OK. No really, I'M ENOUGH.

It's like the scene from Goodwill Hunting- only for me the line is "You are enough", rather than "It's not your fault." Damn. It's easy to say but when the mind gets spinning about what I've not gotten done yet, or the job I'm not doing well enough, it feels like a tall order just to stop and breathe. But action from that place is frenetic, stressful action and usually inefficient.

I walked back on Ravenswood along the train tracks, through community gardens and under scaffolding, hoodie up and hands in my front pouch. I got to the lovely house I'm staying in and found my very best friend had sent me a link to a speech on TED.com by Elizabeth Gilbert. (Author of Eat Pray Love). If you have 18 minutes and you are, or know, or have ever heard of a creative person, I highly recommend it.
http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

Oh and I wrote a new song in Minneapolis, or rather, it wrote me. Cant' wait to sing it for anyone who wants to listen...
AHhhhhhhh!
(as in a happy sigh, not a scream, just so we’re clear)