Rocket ride...that's what Val called it.   When it was clearly over she said a few things...such as "your a Fuckin poker player...you mean to tell me you didn't see this comming?" ........uh no, I didn't

....and "don't you know how to get over a bad beat?",.....hmmm

.....and  "I just wanted to go for a rocket ride"

So...just what was this "rocket ride"?   Well it happened like this,

After playing at Binion's we started to spend alot of time together.   The house I was staying at was centrally located between Val's to the South, Steve's to the West and Ana's to the North and the Spring Valley Club to the East....plus, I had the big flat screen TV, the DVD player, hot tub out back...ect, ect so my house was where we converged regularly....almost daily  I got into the habit of slicing up starwberrys...6 to 8 pounds at a time...the Cali berrys were priced at $1.39 for a 2 lb container...sliced up and layered with confectionares sugar....mmmmm.  

On a typical day val would arrive with Steve and Ana in tow, fire up the stove and pump out pancakes or french toast smoothered in berrys, pop a DVD in and we'd pig and watch tv then head down to the SVC for a noon meeting.  We'd converge at Val's later after 10pm for cards, Pia Gou or chinese poker or stud....Steve liked high-low.   But, the thing was...there was always a group of us playing laughing, running together.

I stopped playing poker.   That tight little world of self-disipline that had worked so well to make a profit at the tables...dissappeared.  Vanished gleefully without a trace....replaced by fun and frivilality and laughter.  Who could blame me?  I totally discarded all my practised ruetines...all the study and note taking of every casino and table and hand history...vanished.  Instead, I fixed Mary's car and Montana's car and the Toyota and Vals' caddy...I was picking up spending money and not worried...I was having a ball....the time of my life!   Val's 90 mph intensity was electrifying...we all picked up speed around her...our jokes, out speech our thoughts and laughter flew...there were other things to do instead of miticulous analysis of card hands and poker room crowds.   I was loving every minuete...and awaking in the morning like an expectant child on Xmas day....what newness and fun would today bring?   What jokes would we laugh at?   I said my daily morning prayers of thanks to be just where I was that day....and truely meant it.   Like the "happy fool", I completely lost myself in Val.

Then...just as Icarius....I flew too close to the sun....I got too close to Val's heart and she freaked....by getting as vicious as only a Vegas "desert rat" could.......
                 ................and she bit me.

I'm not one to take public humiliation very well....and once my trust in some one is shattered, it's pretty much over.   To quote Caralyn Hax   "Everyone knows that public humiliation and broken confidences are deplorable.  Anyone that does either on more than rare and regretted occasions either hasn't a clue or doesn't want one.  Please just accept this isn't someone you can trust."

A second debacle started at the Flamingo and spread like a cancer through out the night ending at Bill's gambling Hall at 6 the next morning.......lets just leave it at that....


She got what she wanted....distance from me.  3,000 miles of distance.  Yes, there was the week of residual phone texting and/or ect....but once that spell was broken...or "shattered"  the shards were just too sharp to clean up by hand. 


A cross country drive at 85 mph helped....from vegas to Santa Rosa New mexico the first day.....she called me the second day during the 18 hours from Santa Rosa to jackson Tennessee.  She was stunned that I was in Texas...she figured I'd be in Vegas "stewing"...thats boiling in my own juices....fuck that.   When I was litterally blinded by my emotions...my survival instinct to flee took over and it was "run-Forest-run!!"....all the way home....well...I did stop in Oklahoma and make a donation at the Fire-Lake Casino's $3-$6 table....and decided to forgo Tunica.   A decided 180 degree turnaround from January at Harrah's when I played the WSOP #2 event and busted #140 out of 449.  I'm happy with top 3rd...out lasting those other 309.

So...I played poker in Las Vegas for 4 months and 2 weeks....showed a profit, started playing no-limit cash and showed a profit.  Got my first royal flush. I spent a wonderful week in San Diego as a guest of John Connelly on his 44 foot Pacemaker.   And I made it out of Vegas alive....with my soul intact....with just a few bruises and hopefully....just maybe...a bit wiser and smarter.....next time will tell.

I haven't been able to play poker like I was since Val......I've sought help to over come whatever is blocking my mental processess and over a period of time my game should come back better than it has ever been...but it ain't easy....growth, for me, never is.   I am sooo grateful to be home among my loving friends...and you know who you are....I am happy once again....and am able to tell you about this. 

So...the dust cloud has settled...I've taken a deep breathe and now its time to pick myself up, brush myself off and start over again. 

Peace...out.