Now we've kicked into 2008, I think it's time for my annual review and my ideas for 2008

2007

Bad things from 2007:

I lost my job and have been unemployed since November.

My beloved Fiat Cinquecento got written off by a complete bastard, and now I've got to go to court because of his lies.

Gordon Brown, the world's most grotesque Scotsman, became Prime Minister

Eurovision was a complete farce.

The England football team were crap, something which really showed itself when they failed to qualify for Euro 2000-and-whatever.

The Harry Potter series came to an end.

My goldfish Freddie died.

George Bush is still in power, even though he is a complete half-wit.

I still live in Croydon.

Cliff Richard is still alive and making music.

Good things from 2007:

The smoking ban came to England, making a trip to the pub all the more pleasant.

I got a new car (a Ford Ka).

Lewis Hamilton bought a little bit of fun to F1 racing.

Top Gear was hilarious in every way.

I saw the Stereophonics live.

Richard Hammond returned to Top Gear fresh faced and ready to get back into fast cars following his high-speed crash in 2006.

I dressed as a pirate for my birthday.

I went to Egypt and saw all the cool ancient stuff.

I went to Rome and saw even more cool ancient stuff.

After a shaky start to the year my health improved, and has remained in a pretty fancy state.

What I want to see in 2008

Better weather. Another heat wave would be nice.

A new job – I'm fed up with being unemployed.

Cliff Richard announcing his retirement.

A big fat lottery win for me.

Moving away from Croydon.

Further improvements to my health.

A cap on immigration and the destruction of the something-for-nothing culture, so that hopefully the chav population will start to go down.

A real progression in my life.