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Last Updated: 12/10/2009

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Status: Swinger
City: New York
State: NY
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/6/2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 

Category: Blogging
I hosted seven shows at the Baltimore Comedy Factory this past weekend, opening for feature act Dave Lease (right) and headliner Justin Schlegel (left). One show Thursday night, three on Friday night, and three on Saturday night. I was hoping it would be a great weekend of comedy, and it was. In fact, the day I arrived in Baltimore, I was recognized in a Subway on Light Street.

Hey dont I know you? says guy in line.
Uhhhhhh I say eloquently.
Yeah Ive seen you perform here in Baltimore! says he (exclamation added by me).
You should come to the show this weekend! I say.

Of course, he didnt know my name or say that he thought I was funny. And he didnt come to the show. But he didnt shove his 12 Veggie Delite in my face, so I'll take that as agood thing. So thats it my first recognition as a comic. Luke warm at best, but at least he didnt think I was John Waters.

The comedy itself was a great experience seven shows in one weekend. I wish I could say that I killed on all seven, but the truth is that I only pestered them on the early and late shows. I dont think I killed on the two packed-house middle shows, either, though I think I may have seriously wounded them. I like it when people are so maxed out on laughter that they resort to other forms of expression like stomping the floor with their feet and you can feel the stage shake. I think that thats how deaf comics know when theyre killing.

Speaking of killing, Justin Schlegel should be arrested. He is a homicidal maniac of comedy. Early show, late show, middle show, dog show doesnt matter. He kills all the people all the time. At one point, he jumped off the stage and turned down the collar of some up-collared preppy guy in the 5th row. And they loved him for it.

All night long, in every show, people kept laughing and repeating everything Justin said that was funny. Which was pretty much every sentence. And he crams A LOT of sentences into one 45 minute show hes like a single-spaced page in 8-point font with no margins folded in origami and thrown at your head when youre not looking. Yet everyone understands him and catches every joke.

The worst part? Even though hes 1,000 times funnier than me, I still like him. Do you know how painful it is to like the people youre jealous of? In order to convey my feelings, I have created a new verb that can best describe the aforementioned emotion:

I hatelove Justin.

Sigh. The more I do comedy, the more I realize just how far I need to travel. OK, gotta go I clearly have a lot of work to do.

L8r!
1:53 AM
 
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