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Chris



Last Updated: 9/16/2009

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Status: Swinger
City: New York
State: NY
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/6/2006
Monday, September 25, 2006 

Current mood:  drunk
Category: Blogging
You may have noticed (though probably not not even my own mother reads my blog) that I havent blogged in a while. I have no good reason. I just havent felt like it. And Im Generation X - we dont do anything unless were highly motivated by fear or pain.

You would think that a cease-fire agreement between Israel and Lebanon would have been inspirational, but no. (You know how they celebrated the cease-fire? With fireworks. I think they actually like war. Its like background noise they can sleep to.)

You would think that Steve Irwin being stabbed to death underwater by a stingray would have been great fodder for a blog entry. (And it was. Until I found out that it was the same stingray that raped and killed JonBenet Ramsey and I refuse to blog about that mess.)

In the end, it was something much more important than peace in the Middle East and the murder of a Mormon to motivate me to blog again (were they Mormon? They must have been). And the moment of my inspiration happened just a few minutes ago where most inspirational moments doat the Seven-Eleven across the street.

I stopped in to buy a Hershey Bar because I ate the last of my Whole Foods Chocolate Malt Balls by noon today (and I firmly believe that if I go without chocolate for more than 12 hours, a device implanted in my head will explode Im like the bus in Speed Keanu sits on my right shoulder and Sandra sits on my left in total Angel/Devil fashionI dont know whos whoI keep hoping for a trip to the Matrix, though).

Anyway, I was in the Seven-Eleven (I like spelling it out shut up) buying the Hershey Bar (Wrapper Cash value = 2 points...BFD) and as I approached the counter, It Happened. Something I never thought would ever ever happen had actually Happened:

Josh Hartnett Finally Waxed His Eyebrows.

Now, for those of you who dont know Josh Hartnett, youre very lucky hes one of the worst actors ever. He doesnt act a role so much as he resents it. Its like hes been kidnapped by Islamic fundamentalists who have waged jihad against good film-making and they are forcing him to deliver lines that he disagrees with but says anyway because if he doesnt then he will be beheaded. (In fact, they probably did try to behead him, but his unibrow got in the way and thats why he looks normal now.)

Ive always disliked him because I did all that work overcoming his horrible unibrow situation (like clearing through a jungle for thirty days with a rusty machete to get to the treasure) only to find that there is no treasure - just an empty, crumpled up Hershey Bar wrapper worth two ridiculous points.

Oh, and I also drank half a bottle of wine. Theres that, too. L8r.
12:17 AM
 
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