So it was Saturday March 21 and I had just picked you up a couple of hours earlier.  We were pulling out of the bookstore parking lot and heading south on Germantown Parkway.  I was being a douche due some news you had just given me and it freaked me out.  You asked me either “Are you ok?” or “What are ya thinking?”  I forget which one.  Ya I know shocking that I forgot.  Well my answer was “I have about a million things going on in my head right now.”  You said, “Ya wanna talk about any of those millions of things?”  I said “Not right now, but later yes.”……That later never came as the last thing I heard from you on Monday was to pack my car.  So we never got to talk about those things, although one of the main reasons for me going there that time was to talk to you.  In hindsight, I think it was probably best we didn’t.  Well here it is months later and things have changed quite a bit.  I keep hearing about all this change that is supposed to be happening in the country due to that nigger and I keep thinking about how things will change for me in the next few months.  Right now I am in a very good place in time.  I recently filed bankruptcy.  That means I get to keep the almost $400/month I was paying those fuckers.  I don’t have a lease.  I am trying my hardest to save money.  The kid will be here in August.  We have kinda talked about what will happen after she is born.  I do know this….Kaela said she can’t live with her grandma after the kid is born.  That means I won’t really have a place to stay.  She has said she plans on staying here in Winfield and getting a job as a CNA making like $10/hr.  I don’t blame her really.  She has said I could stay with her but not be on the lease……Now is where you come in.  I’m not gonna go into how I feel about you.  You know exactly how I feel.  I do want to say that when me and Kaela went to ....Memphis...., we went for 2 different reasons.  She went to see the city and you.  I only went to see you and to see how “things” were.  After about 30 minutes inside the Flying Saucer you said something to the extent of “Why don’t you grow a pair and finish your beer.”  At that point I knew that the feelings were still there.  Don’t ask me why it was at that point.  It was just the way you said it and the way things went that night…..and I am not talking about the very end of the night.  Ya know ..Tara.., I have given it a looooong hard thinking, and I have come to the conclusion that you are the girl I want to be with.  You’re the girl I love/am in love with.  You the girl I care about.  That’s all kinda weird as I don’t seem to give a goddamn about anyone else.  You can call me a mushy little bitch or whatever, but I am still here feeling the same way after all these years.  So back to what I was trying to get at with all this change and shit.  In or around August, I am going to be looking for a new job.  A real job making real money.  I do not want to stay here in ....Kansas.....  Kaela is well aware of this.  I still want to move to ....Memphis.....  I liked the town.  Regardless of where though…I’d hope that you might be there.  If that is ....Memphis...., it’s ....Memphis....….If it is in ....Michigan.... then it is in ....Michigan.....  What I don’t want to do though is chase you all over the country.  That’s just fucked.  I really do want you to give me and you a chance.  I am not saying we get together and get married….just give things a chance.  A real chance.  I think things would work out great.  It’s just something I’d like you to think about.  I know you moved back up there and the last you told me, you weren’t real sure what you were gonna do. You just mentioned what you’d like to do.  I’d hope that this year will be a good year for everyone.