It was painful to watch...
I have seen the new Transformers movie and after letting the crap sink in for a few days I must say this movie is one piece of stinking dog turd.

I paid good money to watch a movie about a centuries long conflict between the Autobots and Decepticons and how the war is brought to planet Earth, instead I got a uninteresting plot concerning US government agencies, awful dialogue, useless characters and some cool looking transformers relegated to the background.

I am speaking as a fan of Transformers since 1985, collect anything Transformer related (expect for this movie), so obviously I am comparing it to the legend that is Transformers.
You can't just grab one of the crappest film directors (Michael Bay), put the most overrated hack called Steven Spielburg in the producers chair, add stupid sexual innuendos, unfunny 'jokes', boring human characters, mix with silly story and call it 'Transformers' and not have it be compared to the the cartoon.

Although the special FX look great, the design of the transformers makes them look like scrap metal. Although they do look sort of cool. The characterisation for the bots was non-existant.
And why does Bumblebee urinate on a human? Blasphemy!!!

Speaking of the ultimate blasphemy, in the movie it seems the humans can easily take out the Decepticons without much help from the Autobots - one of the important aspects of the cartoon and the Transformers concept is that the humans absolutely need the Autobots to defend them against the Decepticons. In this stinking pile of festy cow manure small flesh creatures can take out huge war machines with small arms fire and rocket launchers. What?

In one scene which is so obviously the film makers way of getting so far up the American army's buthole its not funny is a scene where some US soldiers pin down the Scorpion Decepticon (who amazingly just stays in one spot - why not run over the humans?), enough for a bomb strike on the scorpion. Add another scene which shows one of the soldiers sliding under a Decepticon finishing it off with a gunshot. Absolutely disgraceful. Although we did get to see the Decepticon take out a US army base in the Middle East, so the Deceptions can't be that bad can they? But did the US army have some input into this film? Can't they go away and stuff up in the Middle East and leave movies alone?

In one torturous scene we have the Autobots scrambling about the main characters house trying to avoid detection by the parents - in the process making them look like clumsy oafs. And did Optimus Prime really said 'oops, my bad?' Fuck you whoever made Optimus Prime say that. I mean it.

I won't even mention too much about the obvious product placement, with the most visible being Ebay - they even wrote the Ebay placement directly into the plot. Horrible, just horrible.

Anyway I don't want to say too much about this terrible 'film', except that I feel violated just watching this. But don't worry, I 'll get over it! Watching some of the old cartoon episodes and the awesome 1986 movie will cure me of Transformers 2007