So I've been doing a lot of thinking on this subject lately... I've made them before, only to give up, or have other events happen to derail my progress.

So-- do I make the attempt this year? I know, Jan 1 is a pretty arbitrary date, really.... I actually have made "resolutions", or other plans, at other times of the year as well (usually and most frequently related to weight loss).

I ran across an old one, on paper, while attempting to clean my room awhile back. I had a little laugh, because it had a deadline to marry someone I'm not even with anymore. Funny, huh? And it took me an extra year to give up the ghost on that one... oh well....

I also wrote up weight loss time tables for myself. There's an exercise in apparent futility. My tracker graph looks like the "wave"!

Oh! And I was supposed to be almost out of debt by now-- not FAR deeper in it (where are my hip waders?) I hate all people who think that lawyers are automatically rich. Bite me.

So, New Year's resolutions,I suppose, are to improve career, get skinny, pay down debt. I'm not making any more resolutions about romance- that's just ridiculous and futile.

 This afternoon, I was thinking about the people in divorce cases that don't want the divorce- the spouse does. I see them trying to delay the divorce by all kinds of stupid measures... unreasonable demands, not returning attorney phone calls, finding ways to make the other party call them- just for the contact. They sabotage the other person's attempts at romance with new people. To no avail.

It's so hard to pull yourself out of your day-to-day "automatic" mode, and to really sit down and think about your life, whether health, finances, or relationships. What needs protecting, what needs to be jettisoned, and what is salvageable.

The you start to wonder if you've been sabotaging yourself, somehow. Then you get suspicious if something is going well- you wait for the other shoe to drop. In your experience-it always does.

But you still hope. You hope you stay free of illness and injury long enough to do the work necessary to slim down. [The tonsillectomy I just had should help] You hope you win or settle your cases, get enough new clients to bring your income level up considerably- also working on the debt issue.

And you hope, against all your previous heartbreak, that you have had your "last First Kiss".