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Ajam



Last Updated: 7/5/2006

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 25
Sign: Libra

City: Schuylerville
State: NEW YORK
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/9/2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006 

Current mood:  anxious
This is an extremely unimportant, borderline useless waste of time and energy, not so much effort, because it really didn't require me putting any effort into it. I've decided that I would like to amount to something. I don't know what spurred it, but it's probably seeing all the people I knew moving through college, while I'm focusing most of my time and energy into a job that may turn into a fruitful career, but only if I am exceptional at it. The hard part about that is my job really isn't something you can learn out of a book, which is my greatest strength, I think. I usually put time and effort into whatever I do...few exceptions... Anyway, when I see that people have finished their sophomore year of college already, and I may have finsihed enough credits for one, and mainly because of my high school ambition and the classes I took then, few of which I put any stock into. While I was attending college, I immersed myself in History, Anthropology, and English classes. After thinking about it, I am determined to return to college, next year, and perhaps even for the Fall '06 Semester. I also decided that I should finally take my SATs instead of putting them off, and giving myself another excuse not to go away to college. Believe me, I won't get homesick, I just don't like the idea of graduating, and instead of being able to fully enjoy that, having to look into a future full of tuition payments. I'll get by, and I will make the effort and time I put into everything so far worth something. I think I really fucked up back in tenth grade when I dropped out of school. I took almost a full year off, and then I went to Warrensburg instead, where I met some great people. I graduated from Luzerne with good grades, and everyone thought I should be really proud, myself included. You know what? That doesn't make me proud, because every time that I think back to it, I can't help but remember that I fucked up. Even when I was back in school, I fooled myself into believing that I was doing everything I could do, and I wasn't, and there have been very few things that I ever gave 100% to. I did as well or better than 90% of the people that I went to school with, but I want to see what I can do, when I do give 100%. I think if I can do that, then I'll have something to be proud of. That's all for now.
~His Demonic Angel~

 

Don't think abpout all that you have fucked up on. Think about all of your friends and everything that makes you happy. There is no sense worrying about the past just make your future worthwhile! Adam, you were really good in school and if you put your mind to it you will succeed in college. You should be proud of yourself. . . at least you went back to school and graduated!

hope things are better!

 

Love,

Rach


 
Posted by ~His Demonic Angel~ on Friday, July 07, 2006 - 12:54 AM
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