Well folks.  It has begun.

 I know you were always assured as kids that the end of days was a long way off, and I'm sure you believed it, foolish little crumb snatchers that you were, but those days are nigh upon us.  While performing random searches on the internet to avoid the possibility of doing any work while at work, I have been running across disturbing technology advancements with equally disturbing frequency.  One day its robot luggage handlers at the airport, another day its cyborg bees (and other assorted insects) working for the Army (seriously, I could stop writing right now and have already made my point), and another day it's a supercomputer that can solve a Rubik's cube, do your taxes, and correct your grammar at the same time.  Well, I don't know about you, but I don't need no computer correcting my grammar!  When are we all going to wake up and realize that we are about 2 years AT MOST away from a technological revolution?  And I don't mean like in the cute, helpful cotton Gin/printing press/ENIAC kind of way.  I mean in the waking-up-to-a-robot-stomping-on-your-freaking-spine kind of way.  Unwarranted fear?  Paranoia?  Sure, go ahead and believe that.  Watch this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s3n370mOyg

Now look me in the eye and tell me that doesn't scare the living shit out of you.  I had to watch that video in order to post it and I've had to change my pants about 10 times… and not in the good way.  Imagine meeting that fucking thing in a dark alley.  It'll be running in place just waiting for the next hapless victim to chase down and stomp out.  And what are you gonna do?  You can't kick it over.  And don't think for a minute that machines are above petty cruelty or biological integration.  Just out of spite they could throw a crocodile on the back of that thing, chase you down and then have the crocodile rip your mouth off.  And that's not even factoring in the intelligence.  Sure, you can make a scary robot dog thing that runs over gravel, but it's not so bad if you can outthink it, right.  Very true, but guess what?  You can't.  that thing is gonna have a freaking computer chip the size of your thumbnail that can scientifically calculate the best way to track you down and jam a hydraulic leg up your stupid ass.  And you know what?  You'll deserve it.  For not heading the warnings, for not seeing the signs, and for not taking action before it was too late, we'll all deserve it. 

We're doing it to ourselves, people!  Every time you complain about what your cellphone CAN'T do, what you're really doing is thinking up a new capability that our robot overlords will have several years down the line.  While you're sitting in a vat of grape jelly having your electrical impulses siphoned off, they'll be browsing the web and two-way paging their latest Myspace pictures back and forth.  What a bitterly ironic day that will be.  We should have seen it coming when that Deep Blue bastard beat Gary Kasparov at chess; But, to be honest, by then it was already probably too late.  

I'll leave you with this to drive home the point:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys8-qWTOm3I

So, unless you want to have a bike riding robot blasting YOUR kids in the face with its laser eyes… take heed, before it's too late.