its constant now. i sit n cry jus about everynite. theres so many things goin thru my mind rite now. i jus found out dat my grandmother might die soon cuz of all the stress i cause her. i tried so hard not to be rude n say anything out my mouf. but its like my words get da best of me. omg if she dies im not gonna be able to keep myself together n shit. i love her to deaf even though sometimes i cuss her out everynite n put holes in the wall. its like i take her 4 granted. but then when shes gone im gonna wanna kill myself.i dont know how im gonna be able to be alive. man dis shit eats me up every nite. n then im jus fuckin up in school n shit. i managed to fail jus about every class dis quarter. i really need to get my mind rite