I like how you use your words :) This is a pretty good one. ...... ~Jessi~
 

I just love my own work....
 

That is beautiful.. i love the last sentence... "life is someone's fantasy and we're all living in a dream"
 

i agree. i really like the last line. nice job chris.

 

i'm not certain what exactly to say about this. it was powerful & beautiful, all at the same time.

 

hmmmmm I really liked it up untill the last sentence. life is not a fantasy and normal people dont live a "dream". but the rest was absolutly amazing. very powerful.
Great job
 

Hmm..it's distracted. The concept is clear but it refers to how you see the world as a dreamlike stupor instead of the dark harsh reality of the world. Everything moves quickly, sharply, with precise focus..and sometimes everything is delayed, controlled, and whimsically vagrant. I see this peice of writing more meant to depict the feeling of inferiority to the rest of life as it goes on uninhibited and unaffected by small ripples of events, like one more death. But whether you feel it or not, everything is effected by some course of action no matter how small. In "American Beauty" the one teenage boy films an already dead bird because he says it's beautiful..like in those instances for a few second god is looking right at you, and that's your chance to look back. I agree. But it's a painful beauty. When i see something like that i wish i was there before it passed away. Who was there for him to say goodbye? Or to cradle him in their palm and mourn the loss of another being? To so many, he's just another bird. Another carcass on the sidewalk that those damn cleanup crews haven't disposed of yet. And yet...some stop and stare and wonder..What did he feel..as he drifted away...stop focusing on the fantasy Chris. Really, please. I'm not degredating your work. It is good, but too much of it is unstructured and prematurely incandescent. You don't have to use so many words to describe those feeling you hold on to..act on them or take a picture..it's true what they say..A picture is worth a thousand words..but it's also worth a thousand memories. And honestly, the last line...it can't be a dream anymore if someone literally gets hit by a bus, is raveged with pain and then dies. That right there is a plague called infinite jade. The world is cruel and very real. The dream is only the beauty you see..so it isn't a fantasy if you're alive. Remember that.
-Trina