I am anything but centered right now I'll be a big hypocrite tomorrow telling people to keep their faces calm. Well, maybe not. My face is calm right now but the inner turmoil is pinging max and I can't calm myself down. I went running. I meditated. Nothing. People are doing normal shit and I'm about to explode. Work has returned to the way it was before T-Rex went on leave. I'm pretty sure now it's him who's working overtime to marginalize me. DA told me my request to move to NY has been approved but I'm keeping my mouth shut--except for this, I suppose--I'm mostly keeping my mouth shut until I'm gone. This is the first unit I've been in where I feel genuinely smarter or better than my peers and, fuck it, my superiors, too. I know how that sounds but Jesus if you knew these people. Bottom of the barrel. I remember being at Bragg and working my ass off day and night just to keep up with those guys. Same at Stewart, in Korea and in Germany. Felt challenged almost all the time and sure I complained, but I was a lot more motivated to get up in the morning. I know I'm a different person now than I was then, but I can't have changed so much. There's some smart people here, don't get me wrong, but the majority are just conniving bastards. I'm so wound up I cant even sleep. I have got to find a way to calm the hell down.