you took your "first" last breath on Monday July 7 at 10:30am. daddy, diego, and i all tried CPR and were unsuccessful. Within 9 minutes the paramedics were there testing a machine on you to get your heart going again and your lungs working. You were artificially breathing.

I was the first to get to the hospital with la Flaca. 11:30am. I was the first to enter your ER room. I saw you connected to that ventilator and all I did was hold your hand. I knew that you were already gone. No matter what the hospital tried to do for you, it was not going to bring you back.

You slept in a coma for the next 4 days. Each day getting a little worse. Your brain slowly losing more and more of its strength. But your heart still strong. Neither papi nor Diego were ready to let go. They could not give up because they did not understand that you were already on your way to flying with the angels.

On Friday July 11 around 6pm, Papi made the decision to take you off the ventilator. You did not want it anyways. 9:12pm it came off. For the next 3 hours you were surrounded by everyone. It hurt to see you this way. You looked like a fish out of water. The fish you always said you were because your sign is Pisces. At 11:59pm the nurse, Pat, declared your pulse stopped. At 12:07am on Saturday July 12, you flat lined and declared gone.

It has been almost 2 full weeks. I have had the easiest time coping out of everyone it seems. I have no regrets. My conscience is completely clear. Some are shocked to see how lightly this has really affected me. But believe me, I do sit and cry from time to time.

I do believe you passed some of your strength to me. In fact, most of it. Despite through all of this, I am still out there having fun and trying to just remember you in the good ways. I know that you were always happy to see me get all dressed up and dolled up to go out. I inherited your party side. Even though you were ill for so long, you still loved to party :-)

I dont know if perhaps this is how I will cope with your passing. Or if it will hit me hard later. I pray it does not. Because if it does, I'll probably lose my mind.

Mami, you were the most special person in the world to me. I love you so much. I will always love you. You were strong and held on to your life for 3 hours even after there was no machine helping you.

I know you are in heaven. Flying in the sky with the angels you loved so much. Reunited with your grandma whom you always spoke of and your cousin Meri you were close to.

Just know that I think of you every single day. I will always think of you. I love you so much you have no idea. I ask you to please never leave my side.

Te quiero mucho mami.

Besitos,

Allitos

p.s. "I'll be loving you all my life..." remember that song you used to sing in the car? Thats my only memory of the voice you had before you lost it 5 years ago. I dedicate it to you.