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The Muse Hick



Last Updated: 12/28/2009

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jimmy (1)
W.L. Grimsley (1)
June 18, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Life
do you ever think about it? your own i mean? do you understand where the dirt gathers in the seams of your psyche? do you stand by everything you ever said and if not then why not?
life tests the stress bearing abilities of our selves on a daily basis, and how we deal with that gives some measure of the kind of person we are. what we are willing to stand by and let happen and that which we are willing to stand up and fight for.
some people stand by nothing, fight for nothing, use everything and wonder why their lives are meaningless. i would not say that my opinion on anything is rigid, because that rigidity is death to the thinking mind, but i do believe in things. anyone who has been reading me for long enough will understand i think that i am a fairly moral person. I like to think that it is obvious that i would go out of my way to avoid hurting someone. in fact i think from aall the projects i am involved in should be apparent that i am intent on helping people.
you find yourself in a position where someone questions your integrity and makes false claims about what sort of person you are and it makes you think. you hope that the people who know you well, know you well enough not to believe poisonous untruths. you hope that for those who may be just discovering you as a friend will see the evidence in the way other people act around you and to the rumour.
i am pretty level headed so when these things surface i don't go off the deep end and openly attack someone; seeking instead to defend myself and prevent further harm to my reputation. i believe my reputation is fairly secure and robust. it is disappointing when things such as this happen, but they must be borne.
Currently listening:
Waiting for the Sun
By The Doors
Release date: 2007-03-27
9:15 PM
 
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jimmy
jimmy scoville

 
I find, it's generally some form of twisted jealousy that turns people against me & causes them to lie about my integrity. They believe I am one way because all the other souls in similar situations lean that way. They are typecasting me. Originality nor innocence ever plays into their interpretations. Often, I am in utter disbelief when I get the word, dumfounded to stretch a point.
 
Posted by jimmy on June 20, 2009 - Saturday - 4:22 PM
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W.L. Grimsley
Wendy Grimsley

 
The only time I think about my integrity is when in comparison to others. I don't have to think about it anymore. I suppose it is all really in how you live your life. Some people live their lives entirely for themselves. Those are the happy ones. Some people live their lives entirely in the service of others. Those are the depressed, unappreciated ones. Some don't have a clue what they are living for and those are the confused ones who have to start trouble at every point in the road because they need to have a reason to exist.

I'm the type of person who lives for myself, and what makes me happy is pleasure and the pleasure of my loved ones. So I spend my days working at a job I love and coming home to a family I love and going to a college I love and doing the things I love. I would be okay with no friends at all, but because I am starting to have them, I really put them through the test.

Sometimes they disappoint, but that is because I let myself expect that they are emotionally on the same level, and in most cases they are not. Problems with friends happen when your expectations do not match reality. The best thing you can do if what you are expecting is not being met is to make a decision about what you want out of the friendship and if it is not being met, you either have to end it, or you have to accept that it will not change and change your own expectations.

Some people are just assholes, and some people are not compatible with you, and if you hold on to friends that you would not be so inclined to be happy hanging out with, they probably aren't friends at all. People who like to spread rumors are not worth being friends with on any level. They just aren't good people. If you use the term "friend" like most people use the term "love" you are probably being disappointed all over the place. It's not a word to be used lightly - it does not mean the same thing as it does on myspace or facebook.

 
Posted by W.L. Grimsley on June 22, 2009 - Monday - 1:21 AM
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