...i mean you look different but you haven't changed.

i'm listening to "stand up" by dave matthews for the sole reason that the album illicits blissful memories of tripping balls on shrooms at north elementary with steve-o. how the trees melted around the black-top, not having to wait for a swing. playing for the first time in years. steve-o puked by the fence while i ran circles around the art trailer and peed under the ramp. i told him about how there used to be a big slide going down the hill, but it was too much fun so they removed it. the fort must have been too much fun as well; demolished in favor of a four foot long plastic tube with a bubble dome. we used those chairs with shovels built in which were forbidden for anyone over the age of 8. and boy, did i dig that gravel. the lights at mylan were gorgeous. at the time. i told steve-o my plans for the ultimate playground as we sat on the monkey bars which were by this time ridiculously too small for me or especially steve-o to garner any acrobatic pleasure from.

we left, and turned around when i realized i had left my platform flower sandal on the blacktop. a police suv, flashing berries and cherries waited for us. steve-o told me to get the sandal and let's go.

in the car in front of my house he said this was one of the best days of his life. i said "me, too" and "drive safe". i went inside, grabbed a sam adams summerbrew and sat on the porch to look at the stars and possibly watch the sun rise. the beer was the nectar of the gods in that moment. i couldn't imagine greater bliss. but i could, so i called bryan just to hear his voice.  he was sleeping when i called, but i said "bryan, i just had one of the most magical nights of my life!". he was unenthusiastic as anyone would be whose sleep was prematurely aborted. the conversation was short, and i wanted to touch him and transfer my memory to him a la jonas in The Giver. to feel my bliss. i wanted to touch him in general. but i said goodnite and sorry for waking you, and stared at the sky as i spilled the last of the lemony froth from the bottle down my throat and sighed.

and it wasn't so sad because we were all under the same stars.