I had several phone calls, emails & Myspace messages yesterday regarding the massive roundup of alleged members of The Gambino crime family, both in NYC & Italy.
Some were from friends, other calls were from "Mia Famiglia". Not THAT family, my family.
"Were any of your relatives arrested?" I don't know. If I get a dead fish wrapped in newspaper on my porch, I'll let you know. It's Friday, so I'll fry it up & have you over for dinner.
"Do you know any of those people?" I'll Google them and get back to you.
"Has anyone heard from "Uncle Dodi?" (Dodi is short for dodici, the number 12 in Italian. Dodi has 12 toes) Ummm, no. Ruh-roh....
Not ALL Wops are in the Mafia. Yes, my Uncle Lou gives everyone in the family brand new appliances without receipts or warranties as gifts, but he "knows people". People love him & give him good deals. Especially when they win big at the track. He once gave my cousin Father Angelo (Angie is a priest) a Caddy for Christmas. Supposedly, Father Angie "knows people", too.
I love my heritage. There are a lot of stereotypes, but Im not offended. Neither is my family. We embrace it. Except for the murdering and smelling like garlic. But... everyone knows you never go against "The Family".
My family IS a walking, talking stereotype. Guys at the comedy club were able to pick my Mom out in the crowd before they even knew she was my Mom. I think the Zebra striped wind suit, 6 gold chains and full length mink gave her away. That's NOT an exaggeration, folks. It's just Sylvia. Her motto is, "More is more", whether it's leopard print stilettos worn with said wind suit, or the 17 statues of Mary in her bedroom.
We all cry whenever we hear "Ave Maria" or when we see a beautiful baby or a bride walk down the aisle. In my family, the baby is usually already INSIDE the bride as she walks down that aisle, but whatever. It's all good.
Anyhoo, I of course googled stories about the round up, and it cracked me up.
The nicknames are hilarious. Even though I don't THINK I have any mob members in my family, (Uncle Lou says the Mafia doesn't exist, and he's always right) we have goofy nicknames, too. But only for the men. I mean, everyone knows Women are too busy having babies and making sauce to be important enough to have a nick name. Unless it's Puttanna. It seems the Mob as a whole, shares that sentiment, and they don't bestow cute monikers on their women either.
I love The Smoking Gun. Here are a few names I found on thet website. (The indictment was 170 pages long!!!!)
Vincent "Elmo" Amarante
Thomas "Tommy Sneakers" Cacciopoli
Domenico "The Greaseball" Cefalu
John "Jackie the Nose" D'Amico
Vincent "Vinnie Hot" Decongilio
Joseph "Joe Gag" Gaggi
Anthony "Buckwheat" Giammarino
John "Johnny Red Rose" Pisano
Richard "Fat Richie" Ranieri
Michael "Mike the Electrician" Urciuoli
Vincent "Marbles" or "Skinny Miey" Dargonetti
Robert "Bobby The Jew" Epifania
Russell "One Eye" Ferrisi
Joseph "Joe Marco Polo" Chericho
Nicholas "The Doctor" Corrozzo
Domenic "Dom from 18th" Cefalu
Sara Dauria.
Poor Sara. I'd go
Sammy The Bull on their asses simply because they didn't love me enough to give me a really cool name.