I'm trying unbelievably hard to take one thing at a time, but I really feel like I'm drowning.
So much to do.
So much to potentially fuck up.
So much screaming for me to tend to it.
I have no idea how to equip myself to handle these things.
Quick sand, and I'm panicking.
I feel a countdown looming.
It's killing me.
I need some valium and a massage.
I need one good night's sleep without the dreams that have no reason to be back.
I need a reality check.
I need to get away for a while.
I need to get my shit straight.
I need to do it on my own, but I need someone to believe for me.
I need to feel like at least ONE thing isn't a bullshit charade leading me by the hand to the next.