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Heywood Jablomi



Last Updated: 5/15/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 40
Sign: Aries

City: PHILLY
State: PENNSYLVANIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/21/2006

Who Gives Kudos:


Thursday, December 06, 2007 

Current mood:  bored
Category: Writing and Poetry

As the sex scandal that has rocked the prestigious wizard academy continues to unfold, Dumbledore, its beleaguered headmaster, announced today that he has decided to cancel the school's quiddich team's remaining season while the school investigates the allegations of rape leveled against three team members earlier this week. New details have also emerged about the alleged rape in question.

Apparently, the accuser is a muggle who went to the house where six of the team members live off-campus to perform a strip tease routine during a team party. According to the alleged victim, three of the teammates forced her into the upstairs bathroom after joking about penetrating her with the handle of a flying broom.

Inside the bathroom, she claims, one of the young wizards rendered her helpless by casting a date rape spell on her with the incantation "carnus violatum." The three then took turns having sex with her. The alleged victim was later found in a convenience store parking in a disheveled, disoriented state. When she claimed she'd been raped the police put her on one of their squad brooms and flew her to a nearby hospital where she was treated and released.

The three accused wizards are free on bail but have had their wands confiscated by the authorities. Prosecutor Michael Nifong will be handling the case in spite of allegations that he conjured up evidence previously in a similar case.

Currently reading:
Blood Meridian: Or the Evening Redness in the West
By Cormac McCarthy
Release date: 05 May, 1992
The Cycrone!

 
bwahahahahahaha! "carnus violatum!" you're killing me here. sorry you're bored! :(
XXX
J
 
Posted by The Cycrone! on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 5:05 PM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
Don't forget to say that phrase with an English accent.
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 2:17 PM
[Reply to this
The Cycrone!

 
which? (ha! or "witch?") "carnus violatum, old bean!?" or "sorry you're bored, you silly git!?"
silly is as silly does. just sayin'.
XXX
J
 
Posted by The Cycrone! on Sunday, December 09, 2007 - 4:40 PM
[Reply to this
Shasta

 
Wow... such a light little narrative holds such a deep message.

Dumbledore always knows best.
 
Posted by Shasta on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 5:17 PM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
If he knows best why doesn't he expel that trouble maker Malfoy?
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 2:22 PM
[Reply to this
Shasta

 
Lucius Malfoy donates way too much money for him to expel Draco. Even though he knows best, he still must abide by Hogwart's politics.
 
Posted by Shasta on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 4:58 PM
[Reply to this
Ileene

 
HMMMM
 
Posted by Ileene on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 6:16 PM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
HMMMM, indeed.
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 2:23 PM
[Reply to this
Modern Primate
Modern Primate

 
Ha!
 
Posted by Modern Primate on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 8:16 PM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
Ho!
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 2:23 PM
[Reply to this
SonicWizard

 
Well... if my fellow wizards were any good... they would have cast a mind erasing spell when they were done... they didn't remember the "6 P's"...

..."Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance"...

2 kudos... and a recipe for a nympho roofie potion...

PS: a "Merry" and a "Happy" to all...
 
Posted by SonicWizard on Thursday, December 06, 2007 - 10:36 PM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
"Proper Planning Prevents Penetration Prosecution Proceedings"
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 2:26 PM
[Reply to this
the mayor

 
HAHAHAHAHA
Frankly, I'm disappointed in myself.
You'd think I'd know by now *not* to be munching on snacks whilst reading your blogs. ;)
 
Posted by the mayor on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 4:34 AM
[Reply to this
Heywood Jablomi

 
Sorry, I should have posted a warning to chew thoroughly and swallow completely before proceeding to read the blog.
 
Posted by Heywood Jablomi on Saturday, December 08, 2007 - 1:11 PM
[Reply to this