It’s days like these that make me wonder:

Maybe I need to reevaluate my priorities in life….

See in 6 hours and 30 minuets the Sox opening game of the ’08 season will begin in Japan… and I plan on being up at 3 am for every minuet of it! Rather fucked up when you think about it isn’t it?!

What makes me feel better about it… I’m not alone.

If I didn’t have to work in the morning I’d go to the party the Red Sox group on meetup.com is throwing in Orange County but alas it’s to far a drive to make and get back in time so I’ll set my alarm clock a bit early… say only a few hours after I normally go to bed and in Boston, the "Hub of the Universe" the bars around Fenway will open at 5 in the morning to accommodate Sox fans waiting to catch their first glimpse of our most beloved obsession:

If Boston is the Hub of the Universe, than the Red Sox are the Hub of the sports Universe.

So I wont be alone in a few hours… I’m going to get up, cook myself breakfast, watch my Sox while writing my first running blog of the season! So if your going to miss the game tomorrow Check back here tomorrow morning for a recap of the game.. Hopefully a humorous one.. Let’s see how funny I can be at 3 in the morning.. Shal we?! … I mean not that I’m that funny normally!

Tomorrows game:

Matsuzaka vs. Blanton

Here is a question… Who the fuck is Blanton?! Why don’t I know anything about this guy knowing how much I know about baseball?! I’ve heard the name.. yeah but I don’t have any details kicking around my brain. This is the guy starting the A’s first game of the year… man sorry A’s fans I’m not saying you can win tomorrow but uh… that’s your number one guy!? Dude that blows, sorry guys. Dice-K gets the start for the Sox, wouldn’t be my first choice but I really believe Dice-K is going to improve from his impressive rookie season. How cool is it that he gets to pitch on opening day in his own country as a defending world champion?

If he loses to some guy named Blanton on his own turf… will they make him take his life on the pitching mound to regain his honor?! Stay tuned! See you at 3:05 PT!

5 hours in 30 min too go…

LET’S GO SOX!!!!!! RE-FUCKING-PEAT!!!!!!!!!

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This is the face of DEDICATION! Hmmm dedication is scary at 4 in the morning….

Alright here we go Red Sox ’08! Worth getting up for!

My internal clock is amazing! Ok, I’ll admit I planed on cheating a little bit, I was planning on Tivo-ing the game and waking up at 4 instead of 3 so I could sleep and extra hour and skip the commercials… but I woke up exactly at three with no alarm and sat up staring at the ceiling, what did I earn for my troubles? When I turned on the TV it had been left on espn.. So I know the score through the top of the third but I’ll be good and start of the beginning.

Top 1st

3:09: Here we go. Amazingly enough J.D. Drew was the hottest bat in spring and he’s out with back problems. Pedrioa leads off immediately with a base hit! God I love this kid! Now batting 1.000

3:11: Even in Japan, YOOOOK! Fuck how cool is that! Theses fans love the Sox. Ground out.

3:12: Papi comes up and the Japanese fans go nuts! But he pops up right away.

3:14 The announcers are talking about  how good Manny looks and I couldn’t agree more… it’s amazing how hard a guy works on a contract year! Pop out. Mark my words though career year for Manny

3:15 We don’t break for commercial so we can see Dice-K get announced . Nice touch ESPN. Funny Joe Morgan isn’t calling for the game. ESPN seems to love the guy and I think they maybe the only ones, I may hate his game calling more that McCarver! Seriously, yes McCarver’s voice is annoying as shit, yes he says some stupid shit but he has an excuse… Tim McCarver is a fucking moron. Joe Morgan on the other hand, seems like a pretty smart guy, yet he also says a lot of stupid shit and the worst part of Morgan is he loves to pick something to say during a game over and over again. Like:

"This is the first time Dice-K has pitched in Japan in over a year"

I was really expecting to hear something like that a lot this morning. So what makes Morgan worse he doesn’t have the excuse of being a moron he’s just a douche bag.

Bot 1st

3:18: Man how much does it suck that this is a "home game" for the A’s… cause this shit is a Red Sox crowd! One pitch one out.

3:19 Third pitch…. Home Run…. FUCK Mark Ellis… Dice-K looks like he may have to commit suicide like we talked about last night.

3:20: Man this is a young Oakland club I don’t recognize many players and they are really clean-cut and HARD to make fun of, damn. Walk, Dice looks like shit.. As always in the 1st inning he always need to get warmed up.

3:23 2-0 count already, with power up, I smell another run…. Jesus… Dice-K hit him…

3:26: Ah great a wild pitch and a walk…. Base juiced! What the Fuck Dice-K, I woke up for you man!




3:28: Ah Bobby Crosby, just who I want to see right now… infield hit Dice makes a good tough play to get the guy at first, 2-0.

3:30: Still in some trouble. Holy shit… almost threw another wild one. First K of the year. Dice K threw only 30 pitches gave up 2 runs on only one hit! Good start! ….fuck

Top 2nd 2-0 Oak.

3:35: Mike Lowell! So happy he’s back man! On the first pitch lead off hit again!

3:36: the rookie Brandon Moss is up. Good for him bad for us since our hottest bat right now is J.D. and he’s out with some minor back problems… be nice to have him up right now… I can’t believe I WANT to see J.D. Right now! That grand slam in the ALCS really did change a lot. Ground out got Lowell at second but only after a good play.

3:37 TEK! Come on man lets get some offense out of the Captain! Tek’s had a tough couple of years at the plate. Keep your fingers crossed…. Double Play… that was quick. Maybe we should make Tek take his own rife… errr I mean life with Dice-K

Bot 2nd

3:42: Alright Dice time to improve! I’m going to go start cooking breakfast maybe I’ll be funnier when I eat… it IS early.  Lead off hit massive pop up… ugh I’ll be back.

Alright it’s too early to do this, a ruining blog is just too much work this early and too hard to be funny so for now I’m abandoning the format and going with something a little easier. I’ll check in ever inning.

God two walk Dice-K can’t throw a strike… he looks like complete shit. I hate to say I kind of saw all the hype doing this to him… this sucks! Maybe I should see whats going on right now inted of the recording and if it really sucks go back to bed.. I woke up for Suck-K!? He’s over 50 pitches! Got another K… wow bullet dodged… no runs. Pardon me while I go throw up for the first time this year!

Top 3rd

JACOBY! YES! Have been waiting to see him again and believe it or not it’s his rookie season! Another Rookie of the year? STRIKES OUT! Shit….  Wonder kid strikes out but Lugo gets a base hit.. Wow didn’t see that one coming. Podrida is up, HEY MA! … shit he almost killed it… but popped up instead. YOOOUK, wow tremendous play at third base to save a double, hell they almost got Youk at first! 2 on Papi up! So cool how much the Japanese fans love Papi, he really is a teddy bear that anyone can love, I bet he could even melt a Steinberners heart.. Ok let’s not get crazy.  Damn got Papi with the shift.

Bot 3rd

Were out hitting the A’s 4-2 but were losing 2-0.. I hate when this happens… 2 outs real quick.. Good. This umps strike zone is on crack but at least it’s consistent, that’s all I ask. Alright I’m breaking for awhile to eat and get my mind more awake.

 Top 6th

After finishing breakfast were in business! Pedrios hit’s a lead off double! The Japanesse fans start chanting "Let’s Go Red Sox" hahaha were fucking EVERYWHERE! Youk walks. Papi, up 2 on no outs. Papi’s swing looks better than it did all year last year, you can tell he’s healthier…. Shit pop out. Still got Manny and Mikey. DOUBLE on the first pitch! MANNY! 2-2 game! Who said Manny was going to have a good year?! Richie did that’s who!

"Here we go Red Sox Here we go!"

YEAH BABY!!! After Mikey strikes out Moss the rookie hit’s a nice little base hit to right Manny scores 3-2 Sox, our first lead of the year!  After all his control problems Dice-K has a chance to win it! Honestly he didn’t pitch all that bad he only gave up two hits.. He just had really bad control problems in the 1st and 2nd  got lucky in the 2nd too.

During the commercial break as Oak-town switches pitchers  here was a great Red Sox themed New Era hat commercial. The whitest guy in the world gets off a plane in Japan puts a Red Sox hat on and everyone thinks he’s David Ortiz! As soon as he takes the hay off everyone realizes it’s not him! Ha-ha see everyone loves Big Papi. 

 Our old friend Alan Embree is out to pitch for the A’s against his old catcher. Tek fouled tips out… damn.

Ah more commercials! For a new weight loss drug called Lipozine, apparently if you take this stuff you’ll lose weight magically… for some reason I think this may be bull shit. I have spent the last 6 weeks working out like a madman and I have lost 15 pounds! Now I find out I could have just taken that drug with out all the hard work!? Wow, the stupidity of this country never ceases to amaze me.

Bot 6th

Kyle Snyder pitching, base hit right away…. Ugh. 2 run homer…  FUCK I hate Kyle Snyder. Than a one-two-three inning… so much for our first lead of the year.

Top 7th

After a Jacoby lead off hit, Lugo hits into a DP and Pedrioa hit’s a come backer to the mound.. Crud.

Top 8th

Another old friend Keith Foulke is back with Oakland.. Let’s hope we get ’05 Foulke instead of ’04. Youk hits it almost out to deep center. The Tokyo Dome sucks for home runs, everything just dies in that outfield, that’s 4 hits of ours that really could have made it out in another park. Papi pops out high again.. Tough game for the big man.

With Manny up I get some cool news, the Sox have an option on Manny for the next two years. they can just pick him up  for 20 mil each year with out dealing with Boras because really.. Can you imagine anyone behind Papi… maybe we shouldn’t though cause he just struck out.

Bot 8th

Brandon Cory is now pitching for the Sox. Can’t remember much about him, he’s ugly as shit though. Kind of looks like a younger Mariano Rivera…. Holy shit… Jacoby makes a Co-Co catch in deep center! Hmmm seriously we still have Co-Co on the roster?

Well here it is

Top 9th

We need a run, Mikey Lowell leads off with a fly out. 
Brandon Moss: HOME FUCKIN’ RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

HOLY SHIT WHO IS THIS KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????  HIS FIRST HOME RUN EVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J.D. WHO!?
4-4 Tek up. Wow ugly strike out. Three K’s and he hit into a DP bad game for the Captain.

Jacoby up,  rips it but it falls into the glove.

Bot 9th

Okajima-san coming into the game and the crowd goes wild. Damn did we really plant our flag in Japan with these two guys… here we go. Let’s hope he’s not as jittery as Dice was.

YES first batter strikes out, ugly. Okajima still looks the same.. Let’s hope it stays that way. 

After a walk Okajima gets lucky and a ball is cranked but right to dead center.. I swear that outfield has magnets in it to pull everything down.. This time it save us.

Top 10th    4-4 game.

Why screw around, let’s go to extras right away! This game reminds me of some of those ’03 ALDS games. Sure the ’04 and ’07 ALCS series kind of overshadow it but the ’03 ALDS may just be one of my favorite playoff series of all time.

Lugo leads off with a hit, Pedrioa lays down a good bunt.

YOOOOOUUUK

I love Japanese fans!

Strike out Papi up… he’s had a bad game he’s due and they are walking him.

Manny up. Double off the Top of the WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 RBI’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 RBI’s FOR MANNY TODAY!!! Holy shit that ball was about two inches from going out.

6-4 Sox!

Lenny DiNardo in for the A’s… What the Fuck!? Seriously is Oakland the Red Sox bullpen retirement community?!

Wonder Kid Moss is up to bat who is playing for um… err…. Oh yeah J.D. Drew today.

Pop out… that’s ok. Kids done his job today.

Bot 10th  6-4 Sox

Pabelbon coming out of the pen! Shipping out to Boston is blaring through the speakers in Japan… fuckin’ cool! And I thought my phone was ringing… hey isn’t that a home game for the A’s? Our closer still get’s his music? Best road game EVAH!

 Fuck… lead off walk…

Strike out.

Wow….  6-5 Sox Double off the wall but the fool Brown who hit it tried to go to third for NO reason and we traped him and got him out… wow what a DUMB FUCK move! They would have had the tying run on second with 1 out… 2 out nobody’s on… Jesus!

Shit base hit…. FUCK!!!! Come ON!!!! Papelbon!!!! Jesus how big was that out at second!?  Base hit….

Two men on…

Wow… Papelbon over to cove Youk. Sox win 6-5 and the ONLY reason we won that game was because of that bone headed base running move! Wow… WOW!

Boston is 1-0

Players of the game

Brandon Moss: 2 for 5 2 RBI’s, and one BIG Home Run to tie it in the top of the 9th!
Super Manny: Um Manny we’ll pick up your 20 million option right now! 2 for 5, 4 RBI’s!
Oakland left fielder Daric Barton for trying to stretch an obvious double into a triple and saving the game for us because Papelbon should have had a blown save… yikes..

Well that’s it. Sorry it wasn’t up to my normal humor levels.. But uh… go fuck yourself! It’s fuckin early!

It’s baseball season!



Door coming in from my patio… fitting don’t you think?