I had such a long day today, really, it started yesterday.  I woke up especially early so that I could hang out with my BF.  He said he was going to pick me up around noon or one, but I should have known better, he always has a plan.

I spent the morning getting ready.  I washed my hair, shaved my legs, etc., so that we could try to experience sensuality, it's different than sexuality.  After I got ready, I tried to stay as calm as I possibly could... I don't like waiting, and I don't like to be late.  He had business to take care of, so I tried to not kill the battery on his phone by calling him to tell him how annoyed I was, rather, I just was assured in knowing that he has a plan.  That makes me comfortable. 

Anyway, by the time he got here, it was almost sunset.  YaY!!  We went for a ride on the bike, in traffic.  I have a playlist that I listen to, I love it!  I never really paid much attention to Kanye West, I just kinda listen to him, but when I'm in traffic, I listen.  The lights of the candy-striped road flickered as we sky-rocketed our way through, and I was so entranced that I almost forgot to look at the sky.  The sky was a warm, not too flashy, not too mute, pink, that matched the color of my choice, low-cut hiking boots. 

I don't want to give all of it away, but it all was just for me.  I like when traffic is slow and then Beyonce comes on singing "Green Light," and then suddenly traffic clears the way for us to "Go! Go! Go!"  My "Moto" playlist helps program, or rather, re-program, the way I think.

I had a great night, but when I awoke this morning, life had changed a little more, and things felt a little more personal.  I happened to see the news today of all days to watch, and there's a massacre at Ft. Hood.  I don't know why after I've written my words about not being afraid or scared, there has to be a massacre in a place that would shout its name out to me.  I'm not here for play, it's on me to change the world... Kanye, "Stronger."  Sounds like they're calling me out.  I felt emotional.  I felt overwhelmed with anger, despair, sorrow, and fear for what's to come.  People are not prepared, not mentally, not phyiscally. 

I have to do something.  "I'm doing a hundred on the highway, so if you do the speed limit... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY,"  sings Ludacris.  If I'm going to be the one who leads the revolt, then I have to be strong, and fearless.  I can't worry about what people will say of me, I've already deduced that that will kill me the fastest.  I have a mission to re-write, or add-on, to the new  "Revisionist History." --Aaron Joseph Hopson.  If we want the world to know what our time is like right now, then we have to document it right now.  Am I the only one who gets that?  Everyone needs to get it through their think ass skulls that the fight is not over.  The saying goes "it's always darkest before dawn," we have yet to see the dark, why do we think we're entitled to dawn?  And anyway, the book is not going to write itself.  ;-)

If I've ever had anything I have always had a plan... now it's time to work on execution.  I got this.  This is the biggest challenge yet... I'm so up for it.

I'm out for now, I haven't slept.