I do not have internet access at home or work anymore!

I am writing this from a public library!

What in the hell is wrong with America today when a man has to drive to the damned library to update his blog of alienation and despair?!

I'll level with you people.  I do not know what I am going to do about this.  I am capable of some serious mischief, and Old Lady Malone behind the desk here might get herself a taste in a few minutes here.

All is now lost, I fear.  Without internet access at home or work, what remains for me?  Friendship?!  Do I seem like the kind of person who enjoys friendship to you?!  I will punch you in your fat mouth for making a suggestion like that!

On the plus side, the malodorous, mouth-breathing gentleman to my left seems to have found the sexually suggestive content he was looking for.