Appreciater

You had a new sweater on

Gray and red, not sure you're comfortable with the fit

She wouldn't let go of your hand

Felt warm and sure and sad

Don't want to rush it

Step outside the mall

Breathe the cold October air that feels like baseball

But she only feels goodbye

Under this stony sky

And a hug that says it all

Mixing sweet with the sour

And wanting to go back

Does that only work in college

Or long after the fact?

Catch your plane on time

Stand ready at the gate

Takes this sea of faces floating by

To appreciate her

Step inside the door

Full of plans and bottomless lists

That never seemed to work before

Try to fill the hours

But your mind's still on yesterday

You miss her now for sure

And you never felt quite enough for her

Maybe words you sent along have hurt

But you know that on this day you need to hold her

Though you're sure that it won't stay, you're glad you chose her

First Ship Out

She's owed more than a dance

Past due a few straight answers

As a dark sail cuts the sky

She'll concede rather than try

Surrounded by answers

Never soft enough to see

Stripping paint from dirty walls

Is it possible she doesn't know the fall's coming?

And her story is more or less the same

Hardly free from blame

She caught the first ship out

And now she's lost at sea

She fought the void for years

No pause to lose the ghosts

Here's to hoping she'll slow down

At least 'till a better man comes around

Undertow

In the city by the lake your school bus slipped by

Those streets and churches still in your mind's eye

You felt so small, those clouds so high

Those afternoons when you could fly

'Cause nothing ever held you to the ground

In the undertow

Did you lose your way

Those turns you've never known

And the wind blowing past your face

Long ride home when you're ten years old

Can only guess how far is left to go

You love this world, it's all you've known

Goodbye to friends who won't see you grow into a man

Whose dreams still drift to them

In the undertow

Did you lose your way

Those turns you've never known

And the wind blowing past your face

In the undertow

Can't see beyond today

But this love just goes to show

Maybe you're better anyway

One last ride past

The things you thought would last

As tears fall from your eyes

Hiding in the Dark

She was a year older than you

Too beautiful to hope for

But maybe she never knew

Back home, you'd never share a word

But hers was the softest voice you'd heard

Shared so many letters

Through the summer of '95

As she moved through the other boys

You went and tried to live your life

Late nights you'd listen to her calls

But never had the courage to say it all

What you gave up then created your life now

Where could she be?

Brown eyes hiding in the dark

You could be the one she needs

If you could get back to the start

Growing up, you stayed together

Even as the years spun by

Lived your borrowed days

As she hid her darkest lie

You knew what others never saw

But you let her slip away till she was gone

Didn't know what to say

On the day she finally called

Only had her to yourself

After it meant nothing at all

Backwards for You

It's not over yet

But I'm already feeling a little let down

It's not over yet

The restless pull of needs without a sound

Find ourselves in the wrong place with the wrong lines

Reaching backwards for you

Further and further we travel, unravel

The things we know are true

Went there yesterday

With a promise long since abandoned

If mentors are the means

I'll have to find one who doesn't leave me stranded

Is it ever enough…

To seem like I never question

To be a nice guy

To sound wise to help the cause

To be there twice a week

To read the right books

To use words like grace and saved and faith

Is it ever okay…

If I'm rarely moved to tears anymore

To offer good advice I rarely take

To pursue you only with my mind

To be a total hypocrite

Empty Glass

Wasn't that long ago

If I'd have seen what you had in store

I would have run away

Now here I stand

Steps before the crash

Will I understand

All I hold is an empty glass

Wasn't that long ago

If I had known this control to feel

It would have satisfied

But what has been lost

With this need to ask

Could I count the cost

Of these words or my empty glass

Wasn't that long ago

If I had held all these seamless dreams

It would have been enough

All that's left is sand

Split away with time

If I reach out my hand

Could you fill this empty glass

Turning the World

Whether or not you mean what you say

Your tone of voice gives you protection

Whether or not it's as simple as you think

This song he wrote you learn to sing

His love brings the tide in to cover your shore

Debris and despair will see daylight no more

You learn to swim by jumping in

You turn your head and your feet feel sure again

Whether or not trouble is in the air

Or whether you've been here before

Whether or not the wind will push back your hair

He'll give you words and carry you anywhere

You're hiding at the entrance

Captured by the colors

You'd try to make an escape

But he's not about to let you go

Whether or not you care about him

He'll leave you dizzy, turning the world

Whether or not you've lived up to what you gave

He'll let you slip just to make the save

Cold Winter

It's been a long cold winter without you here

Wondering why we are apart

One too many arguments have split us twain

And now we live with broken hearts

Pride, it's a lonely, vicious beast

That feeds on misinformed dirt

I know if we were honest one time

We would surely be entwined

It hurt on Christmas when you were gone

I sat sapped by the tree

I thought about last Christmas, and the Christmas before

Wondering why we aren't we

I saw your mom last night at the open mic night

And I wanted to say hi

But I knew in her mind I was long gone

So I faded off to die

Many Years From Now

Rain falls different today

Now I'm in your world

I can't wait to see you today

My beautiful girl

Please don't rush this, it's all right to stay

Right where we are

Falling in love as you softly lay

Resting in my arms

Many years from now

Might we look back and smile

At these simple things we share

Many years from now

Sometimes I stumble with nothing to say

Through underwhelming appeal

Then when you laugh this world slips away

How could I deserve what you feel?

Now just lie still

I can hear you breathe

I would do anything in my power

To be the one who makes you happy

Many years from now

Halloween, 1997

Another empty night

Seems to happen all the time

Polite goodbyes and lonely eyes

Go on back to your lives tonight

I'm stuck with mine

Fallen angels inside me

Cold wind won't let me be

This book of memories

Just gray faces on a flat page

Tell myself I'm growing wiser with age

Nowadays when I wake

Getting later every day

Left me lying here at the end of another year

I've been let down

And forgotten to assume

Passing laughter from the hall

Can't warm winter in my room

So quiet there's a hum

It's late, but I'm not getting tired

This hope won't let me come unwired

Out the window distant lights

Shine beneath a frozen sky

To me the world is dead

This music's floating through my head

Cold wind inside me

Fallen angels won't let me be

Choices Collide

You're saving up a memento of who you were

A lifetime ago

A note you wrote when working hard not to show

What they didn't know

That winter you bled into a blur

Wasn't easy like before

In her eyes you could feel the space

But you were never honest

And never sure

When you lost your life

They couldn't stay long

Now the names have changed

And that world is gone

Smiling's not as simple as before

Face feeling heavier than the last

Building up, you lost the center of what you had

Now sunrise only lights up the past

When your choices collide

What would change if you tried

Or if they felt you were sorry instead

Now you're brighter than ever

Living in love forever

With these words you won't trade