Dear Mexican: So, I’m in a Mexican restaurant, and it’s panic time: Here come the mariachis! Mexican, help me. What can I request so as to not appear to be a dolt by asking for the 12th “La Bamba” or (worse yet) “Guantánamera” of their shift? Sure, “Bésame Mucho” is a gringo’s best friend, but I want something that the players will know and be happy to play for a change. Maybe something a little dirty, even, or with a subtle anti-gringo inside joke? And please make it easy for me to remember. I’ll be drunk.
Modern Luxury
Dear Gabacho: For once, the Mexican is stumped, overwhelmed with unlimited semiosis. Simply too many choices, amigo! You can get the mariachi happy by requesting “El Rey” (“The King”) or “Volver, Volver” (Return, Return) because it’ll fill them simultaneously with bravado and wussiness and encourage the audience to sing along with the chorus, but the Mexican finds these songs to be the “My Way” and “Freebird” of Mexican music. Personally, I like to ask for “La Malagüeña” (“The Lady From Malaga,” a song of love) and “Un Puño de Tierra” (“A Fistful of Dirt,” a Sartrean ditty of existential angst that goes wonderfully with Herradura tequila) because the canciones are both standards that nevertheless don’t get as much recognition as they deserve. But if you want to test a mariachi’s mettle, ask for “El Mil Amores” (“The One Thousand Loves”) and “Carabina 30-30” (“Carbine 30-30”)—the former because it’s my theme song and written by the severely underappreciated Cuco Sanchez, the latter porque it’s one of the few Mexican Revolution-era corridos that still notches regular airtime at parties (but not on radio, alas). But I’m sure readers have better picks, and since Cinco de Mayo is upon us, I turn it over to ustedes. Okay, cabrones: What mariachi songs do you recommend gabachos request as they drinko por Cinco in a couple of weeks? Give me the song’s title and 50 words or less explaining its beauty to gabachos, and I’ll print the best picks for my Cinco de Mayo column!
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