Hey Kids,

     Its Sunday morning and guess what, I'm not at church. I've been pestered into doing more blogging for the band. I thought I wold sit here and scribble out a large volume of nonsense accented with large words from my every changing, but always exciting, vocabulary. I'm not getting paid for this so I'm not investing any overly witty banter into this piece. So here's what I'm posting: How the band writes songs, practices, etc. A day in the life, if you will, of your favorite aging punk band:

     Song writing is the key to the whole operation here at the No Alternative compound. I'll sit and listen to a bunch of music and suddenly hear something I really like. It's usually a hook to a song. Then I go into our studio and start playing my guitar. I don't play the hook I just heard, I simply just play. Its hit or miss. Sometimes I write a song in five minutes or sometimes five days. Some of you may be disappointed that having gone to college I don't have some great scientific approach to writing. Its god damn rock and roll, it's not brain surgery.

     I then proceed to scribble lyrics on pieces of paper throughout the house until Jennifer insists I put them in my song journal. I write more lyrics than music. Some of my best work has been done on toilet paper and cocktail napkins.

     By the way, if there are any typos or misspellings, complain to Tom, he's got plenty of time to field my hate mail. Back to the blog: Then the big day comes:

     I present my new songs to Greg and Josh. One of two things will happen at this point in time. The two them will either look at me like a just handed them a dead rat or they love the song. Now, there are times when I'll write something I think is brilliant and they think is stupid, but most of the times they like the songs.

     We practice once a week. We rip through the set once and then work on new material. We always start off as serious working musicians. However, by the end of the practice, lyrics start changing and things get stupid, as in funny. Above the studio is our bedroom so my wife has to endure a weekly regime of not only our songs but every bad song we can think of. This is a sign of true love.

     So there you have it; a look into the boring and otherwise uneventful way No Alternative does it. Of course I left out the parts involving midgets, tupperware, pills, a chainsaw, the neighbor's cat, and the infamous thong belonging to josh. I've been warned not to post offensive blogs so I'm trying to keep this clean. See if you can figure out what we do with a midget, tupperware, pills, a chainsaw, the neighbors cat, and the red thong. Who knows we might write a song about it and give you the credit. You might make a whole $10.00 in writing royalties.