A good beer has between 100 and 200 calories, is mostly made of water, and the part that isn't water is almost pure carbohydrates.
The average diet recommends a daily caloric intake of 1,200 calories for women, 1,600 for men, if you want to lose the medically safe rate of two to three pounds a week. On the Beer diet, that equates to at least 6-12 12oz servings a day for women, and 8-16 for men. A lofty, yet measurable goal.
All diets should include an exercise program. The Beer Diet starts with "12oz curls", alternating arms for effect. Since the alcohol in the beer is a diuretic, which causes the water to flush out almost immediately, this leads to a consistent workout including deep knee bends (getting out of the chair), fast walking (very good for your heart) and squats (as the case may be).
Drinking beer actually helps you sleep...even when you aren't necessarily tired. All that added rest is certain to help with any problems you may have experienced on those other fad diets.
The Beer Diet is good for your heart. After just one day of consuming your required beers, you will certainly want to consume some aspirin, which is proven to help prevent heart attacks.
On the Beer diet you can eat anything you want. The only rule is that you cannot consume any food until you have consumed at least half of the days required beers. This ensures the food will usually stay in your body a short time, leading to exercise time: deep knee bends, quick walk and, this time, the "lean-over-and-hurl" stomach crunches.
Beer drinking is often done in bars, where other forms of exercise are common. Dancing, for example, is a good way to build up a thirst, as is chasing members of the opposite sex. If you really want to maximize your workout, try actually walking up to the bar, versus using the waitress. To take this to the extreme, you could even get up and get someone else a beer, perhaps someone you are trying to help by introducing them to the diet.
Based on these facts, let's run through a given scenario for diet implementation. This is a weekend diet plan, and should be attempted during the week by only the pro dieters.
MONDAY THROUGH THURSDAY: Eat whatever you want, these are "Free" days.
FRIDAY: Feeling "huge" and ready to diet, swing by the liquor store and stock up. Go to your favorite place of beer drinking and begin the consumption process (remember: 12 for women, 15 for men).
SATURDAY: Wake up and lounge around all day, feeling slightly smaller after expunging any food that you may have accidentally consumed. Take aspirin. Notice that you now have absolutely no interest in food. Later on, restart cycle, noticing that your appetite has still not returned. Perhaps today you will only meet half of your consumption goal due to an ongoing discussion about "hair" and some dog that bit you. This is actually a good thing, as only half-consumption means less than 1,000 calories for the day, and you still don't feel hungry.
SUNDAY: Again you notice a lack of appetite, you are feeling thinner all the time. You are positive this diet is perfect for you! Further your heart health by taking more aspirin, and lounge for the remainder of the day.
MONDAY: Return to work, feeling thinner, well rested, and surprisingly mellow.
Happy dieting!