Click image to see video (from nfl.com)
The above video is of Chris Carter inspiring the upcoming 2008, NFL rookie class. The Visitors Locker Room --having a strong Chicago presence-- was lucky enough to get a time line of the speech from Bears 7th round draft pick Chester Adams, who was in attendance and described it as "your typical, former-athlete, old-guy speech":
10 seconds:
Starts by saying he is, "not ashamed to be a former NFL player". Why do old people always yell they are not ashamed of their previous jobs? A guy on a plane once told me he wasn't ashamed to be a dentist.
40 seconds:
tells us we don't care about anything. Oh boy- here we go.
1.10 minutes:
makes all the wide receives lineup on the stage. Is there a person over the age of 40 that can run a meeting without making people lineup in special orders? Jesus- can some one teach these guys about Power Point already? My highschool coach made us act out a scene in a deli, every time he wanted to make a point about money
1.33 minutes:
"You guys all have more talent than me". These pricks are always claiming they had no talent. Catching a ball that should have landed five yards out of bounds isn't a talent, Chris? I think he truly believes that everyone else has Randy Moss's talent, and just refuses to work. Old people never believe that any one worked as hard as them. Carter would throw a punch if I pointed out that Desmond Howard simply had less talent.
1.50 minutes:
"I'm going to give you four possible careers". Yes- a trap. God, I hope one of these receivers has the balls to say they actually expect a better career than those options, so Carter flat-out looses it about them being cocky.
2.20 minutes:
Fuck. The receivers get stage fright and take his options, rather than infuriating him about a lack of respect for the game. Of course, it's a trap, and now he yells at them for settling.
2:44 minutes:
Reveals that these four possible careers would --if added together-- still be less than his career totals. Is their a dad on this planet who can complete a speech without eventually touching on "the power of compound interest". These guys never trust that I understand a big number until they've broken it down into a five smaller careers.
4:30 minutes:
He is yelling at some one about Reggie White. What the hell just happened?
6:30 minutes:
Starts crying about his success. Jesus. He's like a hot girl- he's all over the map; in and out of tears; complaining about his coworkers. And no one is acting like its weird.
6:50 minutes:
Mentions that he's a minister. Has there ever been a NFL Hall of Fame candidate that isn't also an ordained minister? I'd love to go to his church. I guarantee every homily compares faith in Christ to a team facing third and long.
7:14 minutes:
Salutes us and tells us he believes in us. Classic ending: yell at us for the entire speech about how lazy we are, then whisper that you still believe in us before walking off the stage.