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Usually when I blog it's because something is really bothering me and I can't sleep till I get it out. A menagerie of metaphors ensues and somehow I feel better. This time I am not just bothered but ultimately freaked out on what to do next.
At the age of 18-19 I developed Rheumatoid Arthritis. Approximately 5-6 years ago I was in a car wreck that lead me to having brain surgery a year later and as a result my right side of my body has ever since been weaker and generally subpar to my left side in many ways. I felt like I had recuperated from the surgery pretty well and was moving about just as well as any man until about a year ago I developed Fibromyalgia. I have learned over the years the best way to live with my disabilities through my level of activity so that it doesn't become a daily hindrance until now.
6 months ago I worked for Sears in the electronics department. The work was decent and I had my bills paid. I had been working for them for about 3-4 months with no problems when slowly I started having sore joints and muscles. It started getting to the point where I was sitting down more often at work and eventually calling to work because my feet hurt too much to go into work until I had to quit. I have seen doctors to little avail and my disability income plus my roommates rent barely pays the apartment rent.
I am re-evaluating my situation and am looking for an apartment on the ground floor so I can at least leave the apartment when I want. (I am on the 3rd floor now and it drains a lot out of me in both energy and pain.) Often walking from a car in the parking lot to the store not more than 100 feet away will have my knees weak, shaking and my ankles feeling like a stabbing, rusty hinge. My initial plan is to get a ground floor apartment, and a electric wheel chair to get me more mobile and so I can get out of the apt on a regular basis so I can get a job (I intend to get a job at Dish Network doing customer support in their call center.) Today I found out my roommate is planning on moving in with some of his friends so he suggested I look for a 1 bedroom apartment.
I started looking around and found them to be too expensive for how much I get from disability. Since I need a ground floor apt before I can get out of the house on a regular basis to get a job, then the lack of financial support that my roommate contributes will make it an imposable proposition. Finding someone else to be my roommate in a new apartment (before I move into it) is problematic on two fronts. 1 finding one in a timely manner is unlikely as I have been getting small outside help to stay afloat as it is currently. 2 finding a trustworthy and similar personality that is compatible further the difficulty in the endeavor.
As I contemplate on my next move and the possibilities I realize that I no longer have anything tying me to Colorado. I have long regretted the move to Colorado due to many events and for the first time I am presented with a situation of change that has no ties to Colorado. I could move back to Arizona where I have friends, or back to Idaho where my parents live, or to California where my best frien |