It's been a while since I've answered a question here, as I don't always have time to do so, and because my co-host Anna and I are now using the first 10 minutes of every show to answer a "Listener Letter of the Week." Still, I found myself with an urge to help, so here is a question I'd like to answer:

Q: I went into a local video game shop to just purchase something on the cheap. I brought it up to the counter and there happened to be an attractive girl behind the desk. So, I just initiated conversation with what gaming knowledge I had (since I'm not a big gamer), and before you know it we were chatting about other topics (school, life, music.) for at least 10 minutes or so, all the while giving off some flirtatious actions (i.e. giggling, awkward puns and laughing, etc.)

After that conversation ended I left. Unfortunately, I forgot to give her my name and/or ask for hers. I felt foolish afterward b/c I thought we really hit it off.

The thing is, Amy, I can sense some attraction in this girl and I would like to see if it can continue from there, at least keep a platonic friendship. The problem is that in her job, the majority of her colleagues are male and I don't want to make myself look like I'm going to this place just to hit on her.

How can I possibly win the opportunity to obtain her phone number and strike a (possible) date with this girl? Please help Amy. I really want to try to go to some distance with this girl. I'm going back near the end of the week, so I hope you have great advice for me. Thank You Much

A: First of all, I would like to COMMEND you on how you got your conversation with this girl started in the FIRST place. You, my dear, have done EXACTLY what I always encourage guys to do when they want to speak to an attractive girl or woman: You didn't walk up to her and bumble your way through a sale and then ask for her number. You started a normal, human conversation with her, as if you were already her friend. So for those of you who aren't doing that, learn from this guy! Just walk up to her and start talking about something in the room or in your hand or hers—in this case, it was a video game. In other cases, it might be the book she's holding. The coffee you're holding and what sugar packet you should choose from the big variety they offer. The fact that the drink you just got from the bar has a stirrer in it that you keep thinking is a straw. You get the idea. Talk to her like she is your co-worker. Be casual, be normal, be calm. And if the two of you click, like this listener did at the video store, you can start talking about other things—in this case school, life, music. It's the BEST way to open the door for getting a number and/or a date.

So, you're asking how to take it to the next level? Well, first of all, DON'T worry for a second about the guys she works with. I used to work at Maxim with a staff of just about ALL men, and what they said about guys I liked or met (even if they were witnessing the flirting) had ZERO effect on whether or not I liked him. If a woman likes a guy, she won't listen to what her friends or coworkers say. Really. So shake that care. If anything, her coworkers like her, too, and they're just going to be jealous that YOU'RE the one she's flirting with.

I think that the next time you go into the store, you should do exactly what you did last time: Bring a new game up to the counter, and then make a joke or say something about this game compared to the last one you bought. Linking to your last conversation won't just connect you again through words, but it will bring up the same easiness and vibe—and hopefully flirtation—you had before. It's kind of like how playing a particular song can put you right back into the mindset of the first time you heard it.

In fact, you might be able to use this sensory memory idea to your advantage. Think about what you were wearing on your back (the visuals) and in your scent (did you have a cologne on? fresh laundry? a particular anti-perspirant?). One thing that can help a little bit is that you also return with the same general "look" and scent you had before, so she'll again retain a sense of the familiar. So if you were wearing jeans and a T, don't wear a suit this time—just try jeans and a new T. And any scent you were wearing last time will return her mentally to the place you were before so you can pick up where you left off.

Now, you've got her where you had her before—talking casually, laughing, flirting. Now, I suggest you look her in the eyes a lot and smile. Since you know you like her, it can be harder to make eye-contact (some guys can get nervous and look around instead—or in this case, check for where her male coworkers are standing). But make yourself do it. Full eye contact with a friendly smile will make you seem confident and sexy. This will help you cross over from just-friend territory to "Oh my God, my stomach got all twisty" territory.

Finally, after she rings up your stuff, you can say as casually as you can, as if you JUST thought of a great idea (which is that you might like her), just say, "You know, I'd love to hang out sometime outside these walls." Now, I think the BEST thing to do here is that instead of just asking for her number and saying you want to call her, is to go a different route, one that takes away the awkward pressure of putting her on the spot at work.

Do this: Pick a place that you and your friends will be going. Maybe you're going to a bar for drinks on Friday night. Or maybe it's a loft party. Or maybe you're going to a band that's playing music she likes that you've ALREADY TALKED ABOUT. Think of something you think she'd like and go prepared with it.

So you THEN say, "In fact, my friends and I are going to see [insert band here] on Friday. You should come join us. Why don't you give me your info and I'll give you all the details about it."

The suggestion is so open-ended and casual, she'll be likely to give her info to you because it seems so harmless, and because she has time to think about it and decide about the "date-ness" of it later. If she has a boyfriend or she's not interested, she can use this moment to clarify that. ("Oh, my boyfriend loves that band." or "I don't think so, my friends and I are hanging out, but have fun.") If she says "Yeah, that sounds cool," you get her phone number or email easily. I recommend the phone number, by the way. It's MUCH more intimate and confident.

And when she joins you and you're out, that's when you start making it clear that you like her for more than ringing up your purchases.

Good luck, hope this helps!

Amy