There's numerous advantages to living in the urban jungle. . .

1. You're on a first-name basis with the bums in the neighborhood.

2. Thanks to your neighbors and their open windows and expensive sound systems you become familiar with all sorts of musical genres especially ones that use words like "bitches," "ho's" and "gangsta."

3. It's a given that someone has set up the laundry or storage room as a domicile and they get irate when kicked out or the police take them away.

4. Bikes and skateboards now have the right-of-way on sidewalks. "Get the !@$%&! out of the way, pedestrians!"

5. Despite no one paying them anymind, people still install loud and obnoxious car alarms that go off the moment you drift off to sleep.

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