TRIVIOLOGY: HELP KEEP TRIVIA JOCK SHANROCK DRY!

Team Angela kicked off the week's winning by
single-handedly taking first place at Holman's last
Monday! She may have a tough time defending her
title, as there are at least two imposing teams
planning on sacking the competition tonight; one being
Battlehorn Greywolf, and the other being Corrupted
System, a Nicki Rose Realization Band
(http://www.myspace.com/corruptedsystempdx), who will
dominate at rocking, if nothing else.

Tuesday's match could be interpreted as a battle of
the sexes: The Clits beat the Low Balls in The
Slammer. It also sounds like a porn flick, now that I
think about it. If you throw in the stiff competition
from Team Tarantula, then it's starting to sound
creepily like horror porn, so let's press on to nicer
topics, shall we . . .

Civil war! Wednesday's event at Peter's pitted
brother against brother, as Team 2nd to Last had
invited some extra teammates along, which necessitated
a split into two factions: Team 2nd versus Team 2
Last. It was sad to see how quickly these former
friends turned against each other when they tied for
first place against the rest of the Peter's armies.
But hey, you gotta look out for Number One, and Number
One this time around was Team 2 Last. I do have a
feeling that these old friends patched things up; they
were seen leaving together while plotting to toilet
paper the Battlehorn Greywolf team house.

Thursday's pub quiz at La Merde saw the return of the
Fuck Facers (see also "el bastardo":
http://www.barflymag.com/define-45.html). Despite the
captain's "clever" transposition of a rival's team
name from Team Witness Posse to Team Witness Pussy,
the shit-talking Fuck Facer's mouth clearly wrote a
check that his brain could not cash. Rather, the
perennial champions of Peter's, Fox Force 2: Freddi
vs. Jason, won, and by quite a healthy margin, I might
add. I wonder at which bar they will choose to kick
their next ass?

On a final note, I would like to ask all of you trivia
night attendees to keep your eyes peeled for
assassins. Hard as it is to believe, someone out
there is trying to get me! Today begins the latest
edition of a game called PDX Assassin
(pdxassassin.net), in which you are assigned to shoot
another player with a squirt gun or water balloon -
the assassin with the most "kills" wins. My "safe
time" will be during my pub quizzes, so you're not
likely to see gun-play during this month-long
competition. However, I admit that attending any of
my trivia nights might be a great way for my
assassins to gather information on me and my teammate.
My unknown assailants already know the basics, such
as where and when I host trivia, so there's nothing
for them to learn there. But these assassin-types can
be pretty sneaky, so I just ask that you be on the
lookout for suspicious behavior and/or questioning,
and let me know if anyone seems like they're a little
too curious about your trivia jockey.

Thanks guys! Hope to see you out this week - if I
survive that long. Stay dry!

Your Trivia Jockey,

Shannon "ShanRock" Donaldson