[note: as this is being posted local h is getting ready to go on stage in columbus while radiohead is readying to go on in chicago.]




i went into reckless yesterday to finally buy a physical copy of 'in rainbows'. i had downloaded it-like everybody else-last year (my price? 0. and that was in pounds.)-but i have recently become obsessed with this record and i had heard that the sound quality of the download wasn't quite up to snuff AND i wanted to give these guys my money. boy, did i. i walked over to the Rs-looked through the rocket from the crypts, hoping for that remastered 'circa:now' reissue that no one ever fucking has-then turned my head to the left and begin flipping through the radioheads. grabbed 'in rainbows' then thought 'hey, my ex-girlfriend absconded with my 'o.k. computer'. i really should have that. and i've always loved 'kid a' so why don't i have 'amnesiac'? have i even heard anything off that record? what the fuck. i might as well get 'hail to the thief', too. hey, what's this? are these live recordings?.......'. i was not happy to have to walk up to the smirking, judgemental counter of reckless records with 5 radiohead cds-but, shit. these wrongs had to be made right. i have ALWAYS resisted radiohead. why? when 'pablo honey' came out-i was like, 'who the fuck are these posers with a record named after a jerky boys bit?' even though 'creep' secretly tore me to bits every time i heard the start-stutter of that lawnmower guitar and yorkey got all angelic to pieces on your ass. when they proved to everybody that they didn't suck with 'the bends' i was like 'it's okay'. but, come on-'my iron lung' said otherwise. when they took EVERYTHING to the next level with 'o.k. computer' i pulled the old 'emperor has no clothes' bit-and i kept on with that shit right through 'kid A' and 'amnesiac'. then i found a copy of 'kid A' in a cd player at the gym and i started listening to it. REALLY listening. the hype had died down so it was safe. and i loved it. i absolutely loved it. i was convinced it was their best record and would get into arguments with people who still preferred the 'songs' of 'the bends'. i was so into this version and idea of radiohead that i completely ignored 'hail to the thief' because i had heard it was 'a return to form' (what a tired and lazy phrase that is). and then they did something so fucking completely off-the-rails-no-debate awesome--they said, 'um-screw you, record companies. screw you, RIAA. screw you, radio. just download the fucking thing and pay what you want. i mean we ARE radiohead, after all.' sure-you could say it was just a clever marketing ploy. but it MEANS something. it was a goddamn statement. it was daring to be great---and i STILL didn't listen to it. i downloaded it and that was about it. kept meaning to listen but-really-who has the time? i was BUSY. then i listened to it a couple of times in europe. and i liked it. LIKED it. then i listened to it in the van on a trip from vegas to san diego. and i REALLY liked it. it goes without saying that radiohead is a band born for headphones-and riding through the desert at night with the beautiful tones and expert knobbing of nigel godrich booming into your ears through honest-to-god-cradle-the balls headphones and NOT frequency reducing oh-so-convenient earbuds is pretty mind blowing. still-i was convinced that my current obsessions lied with the national (that new e.p. IS pretty great, though). and then i came home. i was getting ready to go out and i felt like listening to 'in rainbows'. so i burned it onto cd-popped it into the cd player-and started shaving. it was the greatest shave of my life. two weeks later-i can barely bring myself to listen to anything else-i listen to it at least twice a day. it's sick. it's an obsession and it's gotten out of hand. and i fucking love it. there are so many records that i will just call great-as in, 'yeah-that's a great record'. but they're not great. you listen a couple of times and that's usually it. not so with this. it's easy to forget what it feels like to totally immerse yourself in a group of songs and totally obsess about every detail and let the layers unfold and wash over you. to keep going back and hearing more and getting deeper and TRULY UNDERSTANDING the music in ways that no one else could POSSIBLY do in the way that you are RIGHT NOW. it's fucking great. it's why i love music. it's why music isn't my job-but rather it's inseparable from who i am. it's why i would give up everything at anytime to just get up PLAY for any room-no matter how empty. records like this are what has made me a hopeless fool for music. lying in bed last night, listening to 'house of cards' and realizing the difference between beautiful and gorgeous. i was 13 again. how can i go to pitchfork this weekend and pretend that vampire weekend actually matters when radiohead can crank out a song like 'reckoner' seven records into their career? why the fuck do i have to be playing a show on august 1 when all i really want for summer is to be able to listen to these guys play 'all i need' while i stare at the chicago skyline? and finally-why? why have i resisted radiohead for SO long? failed to see their greatness and just give in already. well, partly because i hate to be told what to do. doubt should be anybody's natural inclination when they're being bombarded with how great something is--and that's one reason why i hesitate to even write this now-but i think there's a deeper reason-and that reason is jealousy. plain and simple. i was always jealous of radiohead. and that statement is ridiculous because there is NO way that i could ever even be close to their level-and i'm really not fishing here because-fuck. who could be? but listening to a track like 'nude' or 'weird fishes' makes you realize that shutting your goddamn mouth and just listening and not giving a fuck is all that should matter. in ANYthing. we get so bogged down by bullshit that it's easy to forget the things that make you YOU. and loving a shitty little piece of plastic is one of the things that makes me ME. so thanks, radiohead. i'm glad you exist and i'm sorry i was such a shit to you all these years. i'll see you in cleveland. and thank you SO much for this record. i needed it in ways that you'll never know. of course, to be fair-you probably DID know how much i needed it.....you ARE radiohead, after all.





scott