Riddled with disappointment and guilt

Is not how the body was to be built.

They are a ball and chain one acquires,

By being a thief and a liar.

But I don't believe this is how you feel,

Thought the scars I bear from you are real.

I know you sleep most comfortable at night,

While I hide beneath the covers in fright.

You take strolls through the park with a clear mind,

While I search for sympathies I cannot find.

Maybe one day you will let me be.

However I know your promises are empty.

You will always be the voice in my head,

Sending me without supper to my bed.

So I will sleep quiet with an empty tummy,

While you and your fellows enjoy a game of rummy.

And while there are stars littering the deep blue sky

I will plot out ways to rid you goodbye.

Perhaps a quick slice of the throat.

That shall leave you without time to gloat.

Or maybe I will sprinkle poison in your tea. . .

But I know these are mere fantasies.

Even when you are dead you'll still find a way

To control my thoughts from day to day.

You will visit me as a translucent ghost

And light a match, and watch me roast.

I will be nothing but ashes on the ground,

No sign of my existence to ever be found.

And you would have won, just like you do now

While I have been cooked like the flesh of a cow.

You will still roam the rooms of our home,

As the fire ignites what we had owned.

When everything held dear is reduced to silt,

You will roam the earth without a molecule of guilt.