Looks like i'll be moving to an apt by myself as soon as my tax return comes in. I was kinda hoping to buy a car with it but it seems as though I have no place to live at the moment. If you read my last blog (the one that just said dammit) then you would be wise to assume this is regarding that previous post. My roommates asked me to leave this morning. Well moreso just one of my roommates. It' selfish, childish and all round just FUCKED up.


I've fallen for a girl. Pretty damned hard actually. She makes me feel something that I havn't felt in 3 years and its strange. But with that comes all this bullshit. My roommate likes her. She doesn't like him. Well... fuck. It's too late now to do anything about it anyway. Sean already resents me for her feelings toward me in the first place.
It was never my intention for her to like me or for me to like her. They never had anything other than friendship and now they don't even have that because of me. Or so it would seem. I honestly believe that were another woman to come into his life and be as much of a friend as she was to him that he would feel the same way about that girl. But what to do? Absolutely nothing. At this point there is nothing I can do.


Fuck it


Sean and John called me to the house this morning to "have a sit down". I don't even know why I was there. John wanted to know my feelings on the situation. Well I've made them pretty clear, Sean is being immature and selfish and he needs to get over it. I can't help that she doesn't like him.


The "sit down" was more of a statement of "you are no longer welcome here" by Sean. Why even ask what I want out of the situation? What the hell would anyone want. I'd like to keep my friendship and my home. My desires mean nothing in this situation so there was no need to try to address them.


Sean, you have made a horrible mistake and one day you will see it and its going to be much too late. Our friendship was worth more than your pride in this situation. I'm sorry you couldn't see that.


I care very deeply for all of my friends and thier feelings, but I will continue to look out for myself as well. If that means completely discontinuing a very long friendship due to thier inability to see things from an outside perspective (or one that is above the mental age of 12) then so be it.


I didn't ruin this, you did.




Yes I just aired a bunch of bullshit publicly on the internet. Flame me if you want, I don't really give a shit. I'm pissed off.