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You know I’ve kept my myspace in tact (even through all the ‘why aren’t you on facebook, its SO much better’ antics from my friends) because it makes for great web pr. but tonight marks the end of just public pr folks, tonight brings my heart to the table. All this from an episode of the Bachelor, yes I unfortunately said ‘the Bachelor’. I cant say I’ve ever even watched it, although my brief term of endearment with that gorgeous bachelor reject sparked my interest; its this whole underworld of perfect people looking for perfect healthy relationships…it kinda made me wonder…well, mostly where the hell are they finding these perfect people…but after that…could this really be real? Now without hashing the past, I’ve had my fair share of ‘reality’ tv…enough to know its never really reality but from the small inside insight I was able to get from my bachelor hunk, it seemed as though these people were actually just looking for love, instead of a job…easy publicity…or something better to do than drink themselves into oblivion at the local pub (that ones a shout out for the contestants on Rock of Love). So tonight I tuned in for the finale…mostly because I saw in my fav ragmag ‘US weekly’ that this entire thing is FAKE, imagine that…fake reality? Aren’t we all living that in one way or another anyway? Back to the point, I watched already knowing the ending thanks to ‘US’….thinking producers, directors, station execs, and network owners could not possibly take this (semi real stab at reality) to the point where you use a poor girl up and spit her out…I mean this is freakin’ ABC not MTV (that’s a shout out for yours truly who was obviously always the centerfold of someone’s reality game). Molly, Mary, Melissa, Megan whatever the hell her name is…I feel so bad for her. Her poor heart was used for television (‘Us weekly’ claimed it was on purpose to get higher ratings). I guess I found it more disturbing than what I experienced personally, because my reality ratings where about my job… not my heart. This was her heart on the line, and I guess we’ll never really know the truth but from what I know about leaks, insiders, and ‘us weekly’ predictions.... it seemed that someone angry wanted the truth to be known. Which is something all ex reality people usually feel because the only side of the story the audience ever gets is the ones of those that are still telling it on tv every night. But gosh, I just cried inside for her. I felt like she was such a beautiful honest woman, and I don’t not like the other girl he ends up with…but I do feel like there 30 min reunion during the rose gathering after party was a bunch of bullshit! Saw right through that acting job and edit. Anyway…what the fuck have we come to, when ratings mean more to us than honest emotion? Fire me, lie about me, rumor about me, write/say all the nonsense you can…but don’t play with my heart. Love is all we have at the end of the day. We’re all so damn focused on hating on each other that we forgot. We forgot what’s important. We forgot how we should treat people…and not because we have too, but because we should. Because it’s the right way to be in life. Its what we should hope for everyday. Through all of the shit we should always find a way to love our environment. It’s all we have people! If I ever did a dating/love show (which I believe isn’t impossible to find love on)… I would never take advantage of peoples love in order to make those ratings. After the show…I had to go for a run, I needed to run off my anger for them making her the pawn of their ratings… and I met this 60 year old man walking his 14 yr old dog that had a broken leg… just a slow romantic walk with his dog…and of course I stopped…talked ‘dog’ for a bit…and we spoke briefly about our dogs weight gain, and I said “you know the only things not worried about weight in our society are animals....they are probably the only things fat and happy. Honestly happy.” And he said “yeah I know… look at that one girl everybody has been saying is fat, I think she looks beautiful”. THAT’S the generation gap! This hate, self hate, etc…its only developed recent enough to stop it for future generations if we try hard enough… and instead of escaping to weed or prescription pills (which I understand are great ways to escape pain nowadays), try spreading love. My mom even said, when she was my age all people wanted to do was find things they loved… in people, in work, in life. Its so different now. She said this extreme hate, the world wide web has def. helped generate, wasn’t what it used to be about. SO I love you all…even you damn haters that keep sending me “you slut, you changed, your nakedness and ‘slutness’ were the cause of dk’s end, poor everyone else” come on! Sidebar…do you really think I’m gonna post that nonsense? We all know huge business ventures don’t end on account of slutty behavior! BUT hey, I even love you all too! Alright I’m done…I hope this doesn’t end up resembling that infamous mission statement Tom Cruise so openly suffered from…but hey even that had a happy ending. So there it is. I’m gonna go lay in bed with my amazing, non socialized, happy, loving dog that just wants her tummy rubbed. "Lack of knowledge coupled with unconditional love, it’s the greatest!"
9:56 AM
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