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Current mood:  blessed Category: Life
Death of a MobStaar
What up! I've never been able to stand when something seems to have a grip on mee. Any kind of addiction. pfff..
Mobsters, Mafia Wars, Heroes.. was fun while it lasted but the Novelty has worn off. I think I started like 23 days ago... on three pages..
Its been totally contradicting to what I stand for for one. which i clearly knew but whatever its just a game.
I've done fabulous I must say but... now its ridiculous.
It don't matter if you've hardly ever lost... if you have under 30 people or under a hundred for that matter.. You'll get sick of it real soon.
I tried for days to figure out how to add people without adding them to my personal pages..
Who wants to just add people for that?? I am not a people collector!
I tell my 4 yr old nephew all the reasons why gangsters aren't cool. because he thinks he is one.. with a few older brothers who think its real cool.. I try to tell him.. there is only two ways out of that game! because no one quits (talking real life) with three possible endings.. You go to jail. or you get shot/ die or your friends get shot/ or die. period. there is no oh I made enough money.. im done.. there is no oh I got busted a couple times im done. there just is no out. and who really wants children growing up trying to control, boss, rob, etc... everyone.. I think people should always be encouraged to do creative type things .. not to be saying oh mine is better... etc..
So he knows where I stand... but when i had him this last week.. im saying in one second baby.. I just gotta bank my money. ha.
That's actually not where my apifany started a half hour ago..
23 days in and I've been spending way too much time "banking" my fake dough & blowing shit up.. (it is a good distraction though for people going thru hard times.. breakups whatever to release stress to no faces temporarily) but really time flies and I've been on too many hours a day, doing jobs & icing people.. ha.
My point is is that anything whether an addictive feeling/ emotion or an actual substance.. I've been able to quit cold turkey because id realize it had control of mee and that is just ridiculous. my mind is a lot stronger than that and nothing will dominate my consciousness.
Drinking, gaming, whatever has taken away quality time from people, pets, & projects I love. there is no regret. it was fun I don't deny. regret, hate, power hungriness really truly leaks your authentic self. it does. im sure some will be in denial (not just over the game) but feeding time into any bad emotion like hate, jealousy, regret, fear... never manifests into anything. because these things do not exist. all that exists between people is love. Truly. that is why that is the only thing that manifests into something real. I learned that in thoughts from the seat of your soul by gary zuvoc..
Im a huge believer in the movie "what the bleep.. down the rabbit hole". it goes into how people are addicted to their emotions which give off chemical charges similar to drugs. then our electrical charges form long lasting relationships with other charges, nerves, & receptors forming people to be stuck in patterns. like being a victim all your life. or other things..
For example .. a break up.. boy and girl scream at each other for the last time.. both say Its Done! and it is for a second til the phone doesn't ring and the people are actually withdrawing from anger. the chemicals it produces will make someone pick up the phone without thinking about it.
For all things like that .. you need to be rewired. you need a totally new agenda. the movie goes farther to tell you that people in general want the big four answers answered for them. WHO ARE WE? WHAT ARE WE? WHERE DID WE COME FROM? & WHERE ARE WE GOING?
Most people Do just want to be told the information when Really these are very personal and important questions we should be asking ourselves.
Very true the movie speaks of how We as People repeat what feels the best to us or gives us the best feeling over and over. this is what most live for.
Like an average man.. what he has known to bring him the best feelings are what he is living for...
Man comes home to wife and kids after a hard days work to a decent meal with the family, a couple beers, his favorite tv shows, maybe a joint.. and on the weekend he goes bowling or camping.
He repeats this and repeats this. It's his reason for living.
WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE RECYCLING THE SAME HAND FULL OF EMOTIONS WE ALREADY KNOW. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING NEW EXPERIENCES HAPPEN AND EXPERIENCING NEW EMOTIONS EVERYDAY.
For real. Life Is a Much Bigger Picture than the emotions that run our lives. We are made this way for procreation purposes.
I firmly believe we came here with a karmic theme which we studied hard for on the Other Side which is actually home. Our eternal souls live over there and research and prepare to come here to learn more as a process. the process is the art of perfecting your soul. Yes perfection is near impossible.. Our souls evolution is what counts. Our time here compares to a blink of an eye compared to our lifetime on the Other Side.
Did you come here and get the knowledge and the lessons you came here to get?.. Most of us have not yet.
Once you do. once you get this theme. there is a major and a minor theme and a path to take to achieve it. when you get it THAT IS THE TIME WHEN ALL DOORS WILL OPEN AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DREAMED OF WILL COME TRUE.
Until then our spirit guides and the universe throw major curve balls at us to let us know we are Off Course.
My theme is Humility.. the act of being humble. which conflicts with having a great esteem.. well at first.. I've been the dying horse being kicked til my eyeballs want to pop out and then thrown away and kicked some more. I've had a lot of things happen to mee that I did not deserve. but I hold no grudge. I hold no regret.
I forgive and love.
and I heal, grow, and evolve. I am truly amazed at what a positive person i am given all my givens. believe mee you couldn't begin to guess. which most people are given hard lives because that is what we chose. before we come here. we are eager and feel truly blessed to be able to take on every heartache, every hardship, every ailment, etc.. in order for us to learn and our souls to progress.
No Matter how much you have been wronged or what an awful life, family, jobs, etc... YOU ARE NEVER DEALT ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN NOT HANDLE.
There are lessons everywhere. beauty in the most mundane trivial things. enjoy your life. live in the now. Don't leak your true authentic power into the past or the future.. you are wasting it. Don't waste it worrying. 90% of what you worry about never happens. Don't waste it being controlled, manipulated, feeling jealous, angry, resentful, living in fear.. Don't waste it.
The more love you give the more you get back. The more negative you give the more you get back.
People In Relationships:
Yelling at the other, or any form of being angry ONLY brings the negative or anger out of the other person. you can not get mad at someone and not have them give the same feelings back. wake up to that. screaming and hitting each other or children only teaches them that this is the correct way to live.. if someone acts bad yell or beat them. no. people. constructive criticism and positive redirecting + communication is key. let the person know exactly how you feel and recognize your emotions talk about them, write them down, whatever just release it. communicating w. loved ones and children is priceless.. and if you have a hard time with it. it is ok. it is a process. recognize an issue and practice it. it all takes time. but will never be corrected if you don't start somewhere. encourage others to share their feelings..
Don't call others names. that is just bogus and starts a bad habit that is extremely difficult to break. no calling of stupid. no racial slurs. no bigots. that is bogus.
There is only one judge and that is not you.
WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. at the bottom most part of our being we are all connected. its called the collective consciousness and this is also true. great explanations again in the movie "what the bleep down the rabbit hole" which asks the top physics, engineers, religious scholars, mystics/ psychics, the four big questions. WHO ARE WE? WHAT ARE WE? WHERE DID WE COME FROM? & WHERE ARE WE GOING?
Instead of people being stupid, or other ill words.. rather they are just not enlightened.
I have love for you all. and only wish you perfect health, perfect wealth, & absolute happiness. & because I am real when I say this. It will come back to mee. :)))
Backtracking to us knowing why we came here.. we wrote people into our lives that have been with us playing different parts in many of our last lifetimes. A Lot of time it does not make sense why say Your Long Time Best Friend All of a sudden flakes out w. out reason. It will hurt. But they were here to teach us lessons. & Sometimes People Have to Break Associations In Order To GROW. it wont hurt any less. but if you realize this that is the first step into moving forward. some people will spend their whole lives never learning when to walk away when that may be the very thing they need to do for their soul to progress.
so yeah .. We come with a plan! But Due to the Extremely Painful Process of Being Born & in contribution with Our Uncounted on EGO. WE FORGET.
If you never figure it out. You Do Not Lose. if you live and you die without the act of suicide .. you win. but you will be back here in your next lifetime at a time that you decide to come back.. you will have the same life theme and live very similar lifetimes until you get it. Even when the universe or the council is satisfied. Sometimes we are not satisfied and we come back to do the same thing because we don't feel we got the most out of the lesson.
Handicap People, Ethnic People, People w. Mental Problems.. Have the Most Developed Souls. As you may feel jipped out of life for your color, your sex, your disabilities.. I am here to tell you that you have chose this lifetime to have this hard life and trials because you are more evolved. it takes a strong soul to choose these lifetimes that take more courage than most people can even comprehend. so seriously don't acted bothered by a challenged person or family member you know. They are teaching you your most important lessons. Lessons of Patience. Lessons of Love & Healing. Feel Blessed no matter who you are because you are blessed. You are blessed to be alive. You are blessed to be living in this time. You are blessed even if you live in a cardboard box with one eye and a three legged dog. You are Blessed and there will always be a way.
If you choose to give up, to die inside or otherwise... there is an internal issue Not and External Issue. Ask For Help. There are many people who are here and eager to do that. You think there are no answers .. fricken Google it. Don't know how to use a computer.. Ask Somebody for help. They Deny it .. ASK ANOTHER.
Life is not about who wins the most toys. LIFE IS ABOUT GIVING LOVE, HELP, & RESPECT. You Will Receive Justly In Return. It Is NOT About I did this and this for you and you've done nothing for me. Give, Love, & Respect. Love and Give Unconditionally. It will come back. This is the way. It is not an aspect to dwell on..
There is so much more to life than meets the eye. To Think You know Everything.. Shows you know the Least. To Not Think There are Non-Physical Teachers & Spirits Is Small Minded. To Believe We Are the Only Things Living In the Entire Galaxy Is Small Minded & Actually Quite Ridiculous. To Believe That You Are Better Than Others Is Completely WRONG.
Fear, Hate, & Regret not only stunts your soul growth.. It literally barricades you in a fog from hearing or picking up on messages from your Spirit Guide / Guides & From your past on loved ones of this life and all of the past lifetimes.. They are always trying to give you a signal.. You will never know if you harbor those feelings, or dwell in addictions.
This Got Pretty Deep for a bulletin stating Im done mobbing deep.. I only Mob Deep to hang w. my peeps in real life now. It was fun while it lasted, but not near as fun as what ill have doing creative things, or playing board games sharing intelligent mind-provoking conversations. The Game lost the strategical aspects of it.. there is no challenge.. what's the challenge there? to collect people you don't care to conversate with or get to know? ppfffff.. it got enough of my time.. its been years but pogo is more fun than that. i like to make people feel good, not robbed, or beat up. :)))
I WOULD NEVER CAST JUDGEMENT ON YOU FOR PLAYING, STAYING, STARTING... THAT IS NOT MEE.
I WOULD NEVER CAST JUDGEMENT ON YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU LIKE, WHERE YOU CAME FROM OR WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
IM INTRIGUED WITH ALL WALKS OF LIFE. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN ALWAYS WILL BE. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN IMPRESSED WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHO THEY REALLY ARE BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNTIL MY 30'S. I HAVE NO LESS RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOW BUT WATCH EAGERLY AS THEY FIGURE IT OUT. :)))
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE WHO THEY ARE.
ARE YOU IN LOVE?..
IF So;
DO YOU REALLY KNOW THAT BEING IN LOVE IS NOT BEING JEALOUS?
LOVE IS NOT ABOUT KNOWING WHERE YOUR LOVED ONE IS AND IS DOING EVERY MINUTE.
LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS.
WANT MEE TO TELL YOU WHAT LOVE IS ABOUT?? CAUSE I GOT YOU. RIGHT HERE.
"LOVE IS ABOUT GIVING THE SPACE NEEDED FOR YOUR LOVED ONE TO DEVELOP INTO WHO THEY REALLY ARE" ~ WHICH MAY NOT BE WHO YOU FIRST MET AND REALLY MOST LIKELY ISN'T.
THE ONLY THING THAT NEVER CHANGES IS THE FACT THAT CHANGE IS INEVITABLE.
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT ..
CHANGE IS A COMING. NOTHING STAYS THE SAME AND QUITE FARTHER ISN'T MEANT TO.
LOVE IS ABOUT LOVING THE OTHER THE WAY THEY ARE.
LOVE IS ABOUT BEING HAPPY THAT YOUR LOVED ONE IS HAPPY. LOVE IS ABOUT WANTING THE OTHER TO BE WHO THEY REALLY ARE AND TO PURSUE DIFFERENT THINGS (NOT PEOPLE) THAT THEY MAY DESIRE TO LEARN OR TAKE PART IN.
LOVE IS ABOUT BEING HAPPY YOUR MAN HAS A LONG TIME BEST FRIEND THAT MAY BE A GIRL OR VICE VERSA..
LOVE IS ABOUT BEING HAPPY THAT THE OTHER HAS BEEN BLESSED TO HAVE A GREAT FRIENDSHIP PERIOD.
LOVE IS ABOUT TRUSTING.
YES WE'VE ALL BEEN SCREWED. YES IT MAY HAPPEN AGAIN.. BUT IF YOU SHUT YOURSELF OFF EMOTIONALLY THAT IS THE FIRST PLACE TRUE PROBLEMS DEVELOP. WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE HERMITS. WE ARE MEANT TO INTERACT WITH OTHER MAN KIND.. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HERE WORKING ON THE SAME THING THE SAME GOAL. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT LIFE THEMES AND DIFFERENT GIFTS, DIFFERENT PATHS TO TAKE, BUT OVERALL WE ARE ALL HERE WORKING ON A COMMON GOAL.
LOVE IS ABOUT APPRECIATING THE BEAUTY IN THE OTHER WANTING TO DEVELOP OR LEARN.. DEFINITELY NOT ABOUT RESENTING A HUSBAND / WIFE FOR WANTING TO LEARN NEW THINGS.. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THE PERSON ISN'T SATISFIED WITH YOU. IT MEANS THAT THERE IS MORE HERE FOR THE PERSON TO LEARN.
(my friend Weerd told mee this)
Life is like a puzzle. The Middle piece is Love. The Logical way to do a puzzle is to build the borders first and work in towards the middle. Most People Throw the Middle Piece Down First (Love) and try to build the puzzle outward. They get married.. have kids... years pass and really one may realize they want to be an astronaut and the other a marine biologist.. going in two very different directions.. but instead of communicating .. they feel resentment .. like one is holding the other back.. creating a very less than healthy living environment for them and the children.
gosh I thought I was done.
one last thought. and a very important one.. maybe the mother of all others..
this comes from many forms of therapy. I've seen a variety of programs. some I've been to to just be there for others who had to go to counseling or group type therapy. some I have chosen.. it is healthy to choose therapy even therapists have therapists.. some I've been served unjustly.. which I've realized in the later circumstances that I was there for others to talk to .. so I could help them.. but bottom line I've seen enough therapy and have listened to almost every kind of issues, addictions, and every other kind of problem imaginable to see that
THE ROOT OF THE MAJORITY OF ISSUES ARE THAT YOU (or them) DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH. maybe you think you do. you do not ENOUGH. maybe you think it's the abusive others fault. YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH. you would never hurt a fly but stay in an abusive (physical or mental) YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH. Do You Love yourself enough to take the best advice you would give to your best friend that was in that same situation. what would you say to that friend.. you would say DON'T LET "THEM" TREAT MY FRIEND THAT WAY!. you would.. yet you wouldn't hold the same terms for yourself. YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH.
IMPORTANT:
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. YOU DESERVE THE FRIENDSHIP THAT YOU KNOW YOU GIVE TO OTHERS. LOVE YOURSELF. BE COMFORTABLE TO HAVE A V.I.P. DANCE PARTY WHERE ONLY YOU ARE INVITED. LOCK THE DOOR. TURN THE MUSIC UP AND DANCE. NOPE YOU CANT COME OVER RIGHT NOW.. IM HANGING W. MYSELF AND I AM COMFORTABLE AND HAVING FUN BECAUSE I AM FUN.
Forgive others & equally importantly FORGIVE YOURSELF. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ALLOWING YOURSELF TO GO THRU WHAT YOU HAVE. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR STAYING.. FOR DENYING CHANGE.. FOR WHATEVER REASON FORGIVE YOURSELF.
If you can write a letter to yourself (then to others you have a lot to say to) Read it out loud. then rip it up burn it bury it flush it .. what ever.. it is at least three huge releases from your mind down your arm thru your fingers thru the pen to the paper.. one huge release. reading out loud . two big releases. burning or ripping .. three big releases. bury or flush 4 huge much needed releases.. IT WILL GIVE WAY FOR NEW IDEAS TO COME INTO YOUR HEAD.
YOU ARE WORTH THE TIME. YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT. YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFECT.
second last thought..
TEACH OTHERS WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED. LISTEN TO THEM EVEN IF THEY REPEAT THE SAME STORIES OR ITS BORING OR STRESSFUL. THEY NEED YOU TO LISTEN. LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGING ANOTHER LESSON WE ALL MUST GET IS TO LEARN TO HATE THE ACTION WITHOUT HATING THE PERSON.
third and this is it ya'll...
Live More by Living with Less!!!
:))) smiles all day & gobs of love to my friends, acquaintances, & to you who I do not personally know. I wish you nothing but happiness.
im going to get my nephew and we are going to have constructive fun!!!
You wish to know the myspace instant add program download location here it is:
www.mymobster.info
I never did load it all the way and my computer got instant spyware warning alarms.. Download at your own risk. Do not take your time away from your children please. :)))
12:40 AM
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