SO we're doing personal reviews at work. these are only 1/1000th less pain than the regular reviews, where they belittle your great achievements and inflate your failures to gargantuan proportions.
Adam: Well, I think I did a good job on rolling out those 10 websites in 4 weeks.
Boss: Yeah, yeah. How about the time you didn't change the coffee filter in the break room?
Adam: I don't even DRINK coffee!
Boss: Excuses will get you nowhere in this world, Darby. Here's your $.05 raise. Keep up the work.
the worst part of these personal reviews is the "Weaknesses" section. This is your opportunity to search deep inside your soul, and decide what you suck at. i'm really tempted to write "weaknesses? i'm the JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!" in this section. but i'm scared that the reply will be "all we have to do is take off your helmet and hit you with psionic blasts, BITCH!"
shit. this sucks. what do i write? all i can come up with is "cold iron. garlic. women. wine."
 | Currently listening: Static & Silence By The Sundays Release date: 23 September, 1997 |
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