MySpace

black hole sun won't ya come?

black Sunshine [master of browsers]



Last Updated: 10/15/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 35
Sign: Virgo

City: Atlanta
State: GEORGIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/1/2003

Who Gives Kudos:


Friday, August 04, 2006 

Current mood:  good
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
SO we're doing personal reviews at work.  these are only 1/1000th less pain than the regular reviews, where they belittle your great achievements and inflate your failures to gargantuan proportions.
Adam: Well, I think I did a good job on rolling out those 10 websites in 4 weeks.

Boss:
Yeah, yeah.  How about the time you didn't change the coffee filter in the break room?  

Adam:
I don't even DRINK coffee!

Boss: Excuses will get you nowhere in this world, Darby.  Here's your $.05 raise.  Keep up the work.
the worst part of these personal reviews is the "Weaknesses" section.  This is your opportunity to search deep inside your soul, and decide what you suck at.  i'm really tempted to write "weaknesses?  i'm the JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!" in this section.  but i'm scared that the reply will be "all we have to do is take off your helmet and hit you with psionic blasts, BITCH!"  

shit.  this sucks.  what do i write?  all i can come up with is "cold iron.  garlic.  women.  wine."
Currently listening:
Static & Silence
By The Sundays
Release date: 23 September, 1997
Brian 3000
Brian ThreeThousand

 

actually fuck my suggestion... his is soooo much better.

 

on a related note, I just found out that I used to make soap boz derby cars and have indian guide meetings in the home of the future Executive Producer of Snakes on a Plane.  His brother was in my class in high shool (jason katz and jeff katz respectively).  How cool is that?


 
Posted by Brian 3000 on Friday, August 04, 2006 - 6:53 PM
[Reply to this
Brian 3000
Brian ThreeThousand

 

For weakness always write something that is a backhanded compliment.  No need to give your boss a reason you agree with to say you suck.

 

For e.g  "I think sometimes when I get to a project I want to make it too perfect, I have to realize that there gets to be a ceratin point of diminishing returns where I just have to be satisfied with the job I have done and movbe onto something else, because those last 5 hours tweaking the (insert industry term) could probably be better spent starting a new project so we can be more productive.

 

 


 
Posted by Brian 3000 on Friday, August 04, 2006 - 6:51 PM
[Reply to this
meredith

 
i had one of these before and they actully told me that another employee was upset because i was putting toilet paper on the roller backwards when i reloaded it. i'm not joking.....my response was"i didn't know there was a forward and backward?" i then was swhown the proper way to load the fresh tp. so you see, even though you don't drink coffee you must know how to clean the filter. just like even though i don't mind rolling the toliet paper backward i need to do it properly!

and people wonder why i work freelance......

 
Posted by meredith on Saturday, August 05, 2006 - 2:36 PM
[Reply to this
Leyla
Leyla Compani

 
I've only had one of those review thingys. It was ok b/c my it was my boss' first time being a boss. She was nice and naive. 6 months later she stole my work, put it in her portfolio, and tried to use it to get another job. I busted her (at work) with her portfolio and let's just say things got really bad for her from there on out. Fucking cunt.
 
Posted by Leyla on Monday, August 07, 2006 - 1:07 PM
[Reply to this
Mayumi

 
Your boss is going to say, "Bam bitch, gotcha with my pimp cane."
 
Posted by Mayumi on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 - 6:31 PM
[Reply to this
Alley Cat ((kokeshi 002 out 14 dec))

 
your weakness is you haven't got your scrumptious self over to LONDON yet this year!!! 
 
Posted by Alley Cat ((kokeshi 002 out 14 dec)) on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 4:11 PM
[Reply to this