So everything came crashing down yesterday.  Maybe it was hormones or the natural fear of every expectant mom. But for one reason or another every thing  that has been bothering me here lately just was to much for me and I kinda starting freaking out.

 There is the fear that im not going to be a good mom, that im might leave my baby on top of the car like on tv, or i will never get the hang of breastfeeding.

 Then there is the fear of having to get this kid out of me, and how much it is going to hurt, and of all the gross things my body is going to do during and after labor. They should really tell you about this stuff before hand, but I guess if they did the world population would really drop.

And on top of that there is the very real fear that Eric's mom will make it very hard for him to see the baby, let alone be there to help out. And I may have to do it by myself.

Im worried about getting all the things we will need to have ready, trying to make sure everyone at home is happy so I will have a place to live, saving money for diapers and all that good stuff, making my car payment, Ex. ex.

And then I stress about stressing to much, and hurting the baby.

And now some of our "friends" have decided that we are stuck up because we cant hang out with them as much as we use to.

Im sorry if ya'll feel that way, but it really has nothing to do with you.

I know our real friends will understand that we are trying to be the best parents we can be, and that Eric works most weekends so it make it hard for us to get out.

 Heck, Eric and I dont even get to see each other as much as we would like,let alone anybody else.

And his is working so hard.  Im so proud of him. He is doing well in school and making good grades, then going straight from school to work, and from work to bed most nights. then on top of it all he is loving me like i don't deserve.

 He is really becoming a wonderful man. One any woman would be proud to call her own.

Anyway, after thinking about it for awhile. I decided that everything I have been worrying about doesn't matter.

I know I will try my very best with my child, and their is nothing I wouldn't do for it. Most of my worrys I have no control over, and it took me awhile to understand that whatever happens I will just have to face it has it comes, because what else can I really do?

And as for the friends, though the mean words hurt, if they where any kind of friend at all they would at least try to understand. But people are mean, and most are always look for someone to blame things on.  But from now on im not letting it bother me.