i only got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep because a bunch of us sigil folk partied together for what was possibly the last time last night... had a few rounds for our poor dying company.

i'm trying to finish off a paper about the complications regarding the intersection of individual and national (gendered) identity in the films painted fire (korea) and woman, demon, human (china) so i can hastily turn it in to my professor and run back up to sigil to find out if i still have a job (it is almost done, but i left without finishing it to go to the wake last night). this has officially been one of the most frustrating papers i've ever written. it can only be 1000 words but it has to incorporate 5 sources. tell me to write a 30 page paper, i'll tell you no problem. tell me to write a 3 page paper, and i stress over it for a week before finally sitting down to write it. and the fact i'm sitting here thinking about the future of our game and my career is not helping.

i am really prepared for anything at this point. if i get laid off, i get laid off. it's been a good run, and i can focus on school for the last five weeks. if i have a job, i damn well have a job! we'll see. regardless, things won't be the same from here on out, and i always welcome change, as much as i may not want it sometimes. the diplomacy boards are full of well-wishes for us, as everyone knows what's going on at this point, and that has warmed my heart.