I mowed last night.  It was about 7:30 and the sun was down enough behind our trees that I could get out and mow.  It needed it.  I needed a bailer in some places.  I like mowing.  Some people don't.  The smell of fresh cut grass.  Enjoying the fresh air.  I don't like weed eating.  But mowing…I can handle that.  I try to use it as a time for me and God to hang out.  I mean, I'm in His creation and enjoying His blessings, so I try to pray and sing and listen.  Listening is tough with the noise of a riding lawn mower.  But I do.

Last night I was listening and God talked to me.  I've been thinking about some of the questions people ask me nowadays.  "How are you feeling?"  "Anything I can do to help?"  "How are you coping with this?"  That last one was what I was thinking about when God spoke to me.

Cope.  Manage.  Deal with.  Survive.  Muddle through.  Get by.  Hack it.  Handle.  How am I doing coping?  I'm not much of coper.  I used to be.  I've said in other posts I actually used to consider myself a quitter.  But that's changed.  And last night, God showed me why.  He said, "Troy, you're not a coper.  I haven't created you to just 'deal with' this.  I have made you more than a coper.  In fact, I've made you more than a conqueror."

What?  More than a conqueror?  Lots of people are copers.  They get by.  They handle it.  Deal with it.  But not me.  I'm weak.  But I used to try to cope.  To get by.  I don't cope well anymore, though.  Which is awesome because in my weakness Christ is made strong.  And in His strength, He has chosen to make me a conqueror.  I picture the movie Gladiator.  Christ has come along side me and picked me up and given me armor to attack!

I think people cope with life a lot.  Sometimes they cope with things they haven't heard.  I was one of those people growing up.  I longed to hear things from important people in my life and never did.  Maybe you can relate to these words I so desperately needed:

            "I love you."

            "I am your father."  (I've never met my biological dad.  But I am thankful for my dad who adopted me and my Father who adopted me.)

            "You're good enough."

            "I know you messed up and I forgive you."

            "I am proud of you."

So I coped.  I had girlfriends.  I drank beer.  I went to youth group.  I ate food.  I drove crazy fast.  I cussed.  I tried to be cool.  I was trying to do it on my own.  On my strength.  I was a coper.  A pretender, really.  Pretending not hearing those things was okay.  It was my defense mechanism.  It was how I chose to "deal with" what I considered failures in my life.  It was about how I could get through the day and to the next day.  Some people cope by crying, taking drugs, doing nice things, working too much, playing sports, watching TV.  I think it is the heart of depression (which I've struggled with several times in my life.)  It's trying to manage a reality that is not what we expected.  It's not the fairy tale we dream of, so we try to cope.  And then the coping fails.

Then there are those times when we cope because of what we do hear.  We hear things that hurt, sting, cut, and even change life.  Here are a few of those I've experienced:

            "Fatso."

            "You suck."

            "Papaw's dead."  (My papaw was my closest male growing up.  He was like my dad and I'll never forget the day he died."

            "You're fired."

            "You've got cancer."

But what I've learned is coping isn't good enough.  Because really that has to do with ME.  And "me" is inadequate at best.  I have to rely on Jesus and with Him….well, I'm a conqueror!  Listen to what Paul says in Romans 8:28-39 (using the Troy Guthrie paraphrased version):

            "God works for the good in everything in life.  Even if it seems bad at the time, He is working on your behalf.  He chose you.  He called you.  He justified you.  And if God is for us, what does it matter that other things are against us?  I mean, what can separate us from His love and the love of Jesus Christ?  Not trouble.  Not hardship.  Not persecution.  Famine, nakedness, danger, sword?  They all don't stand a chance.  We face death all day long and are considered to be sheep to be slaughtered.  But in Christ, we are more than conquerors!  Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD.  Not death, life, angels, demons, the present, the future, the past, no powers, height, depth, nothing else in all of creation."

That includes all those things I've heard and all the things I've so wanted to hear.  I don't have to cope!  I shared that will Joey last night.  And he said, "So next time someone asks how you're coping, you can say, 'I'm kicking ass.'"  He makes me laugh.  But I guess in a very real way, that's right.  But it's not me doing the kicking.  Christ has changed this coper in to a conqueror!

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:37