I think its safe to say that I'm not perfect. I try hard, but still I fail at a great many things. One of these things is helping people. I honestly and truly want to help others as best I can. The Good Lord has seen fit to give me ample opportunity to do this throughout my life. How do I react? Selfishly, horribly and generally not in a way that benefits the person I try to help. Whether it is due to a longing for companionship, friendship, or something entirely different I tend to end up putting my needs ahead of others.

And it makes me sick to my stomach.

I don't know how people see me, I really don't. But I try to do my best so that people will view me as a "go to guy". Basically, I want to be the person whom everyone knows they can trust and who can help them get out of a jam. So far, however, I think people have a totally different (and much less flattering) view of me.

And maybe that is my problem. Rather than worry about who I will try to help, I know I should just sit back and let The Lord decide that for me (or if I am even worthy of such an honor). He is the glue that holds everything together, and the salvation of all mankind. Although my intentions are good, I feel like my efforts are just getting in the way of His great plan.

I trust in The Lord and I know that He will guide me (and all of us) down the right path. I know I shouldn't worry about this stuff at all, and truthfully, I know deep down that everything will work out. Still, I am human. I am not perfect. And I look at all the people my "helping" has had a negative effect on and I cry inside.

So to those individuals, both past, present and future, I am truly sorry. I only hope that God and you can forgive me.

And if you need help, I will try my best. More importantly, however, God will be with you.

He always is.

God Bless.